Live an outstanding life

Easy Ways To Make A Big Change In Your Life

My right foot slowly nudged my bedroom door open, and I had to stop. Clothes were spewing out in two dozen different directions all over the floor.

Waistbands of tracksuit bottoms were trying to explode from underneath the bed. There was no way to walk in without stepping on something. And I spied the faint outline of a running shoe underneath a pile of crumpled tee shirts.

My disbelief lasted for at least three commercials. Then I heard Cerce Lannister call to me from the iron throne.

After wrestling with a mountain of clothes, I managed to close the door. I flung myself back on the couch, feeling faint and slightly exhausted.

I will tidy my bedroom soon. Definitely. Maybe even tomorrow night. I promise.

Procrastination stifles goals

When we look at something that seems insurmountable, it is easy to stuff everything back under the bed or into a closet and shut the door. Just close that door, again.

“Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy.” – Wayne Gretzky

It’s the same way with pretty much everything we want to change in our lives.

We imagine our ultimate end goal, running a marathon let’s say. But when we see ourselves at the first mile, we are already exhausted by our thoughts and drowning in our stress sweat.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Find out how to cure your procrastination HERE.

The realisation that John Snow eating a rabbit in the woods and the Red Witch looking at herself in a mirror is a pathetic excuse for not doing what needs to be done hit me. Off goes Game Of Thrones and I started to deal with my mess piece by piece.

This post has six pieces of advice to help you find the courage, motivation, momentum, support and perspective to leap into the unknown.

What is your motivation to change

When deciding to make a change, you must first identify and understand what you want to change. In essence, what are your reasons for making the change in the first place?

Associate Professor Anthony Grant, from the University of Sydney, suggests you should start by identifying what is important to you. This means defining your core values.

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama

Grant suggest you need to be able to identify what about your goal that makes you feel better and more expansive. What about your goal adds to you as a person?

The logical premise is that when your core values and goal align, thinking of your goal will trigger a positive gut feeling.

Practice getting outside your comfort zone

I used to dread the uncertainty that comes with change. And that was one of the main reasons I used to avoid change. Because when you make a change, you don’t know what will happen.

Related Post: How To Become The Best Version Of You in 2018

If we let this fear stop us, we may never create the opportunities to experience some of life’s most fulfilling experiences.

A simple way I found to fight this fear is to practice doing more things that scare me. Think of it like exercise: when we do more things that scare us we are strengthening our emotional muscles.

Imagine how it will look after the change

For many of us, the idea of making a change brings up feelings of fear and discomfort. It takes a lot of motivation to push past those emotional obstacles and keep going.

In these moments, having a clear picture of how much better things will be on the other side can spur us on.

Suggestion: Jump forward in time and imagine a day after you have reached your goal. Write down three ways that day will be awesome. Make it as sensory-rich as possible.

Most of us respond well to visual stimulation so you might want to find a few images that represent how that day will be outstanding. For me, a song can make it more sensory-rich. Other people might associate a smell. The sweet smell of success. Do whatever makes it compelling for you.

Take one small step, and then another

Taking action, however, small a step it is will boost your energy and optimism. Identify one small, manageable thing you can do today to move toward your goal. Then take action and do it.

Take a moment to notice the positive feelings you experience when you take action on your behalf.

Now take another small step forward. Before you know it, change starts to happen.

As the saying from Lao Tzu goes, “Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” Contemplating the enormity of all that’s before you isn’t going to propel you forward.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

The primary motivator that leads us to keep on persevering is taking baby steps. When we look at the big picture, we can get overwhelmed with all the intricate stages involved in achieving that goal.

Alternatively, try breaking the big picture goal down into manageable and systematic baby steps. And then work your butt off to achieve them.

Celebrate and document your wins on a regular basis. I suggest you do it daily. The achievement of your baby step goals will help you achieve the change that you’ve been seeking.

Being in the moment

There is a saying from Karen Salmansohn that illustrates this point very well, “The grass is always greener on the other side – until you get there and see it’s AstroTurf. Symbols are never reality. Someone might have amassed material success and fame, but that doesn’t mean they’re happy. So, don’t go judging a person’s life by the cover.”

How many of think that the grass is greener on the other side? Often, when we get to the other side, we find that this is not true.

Our desire to be happy provides the motivation to change our lives. Too frequently, we are so busy focusing on our pursuit of happiness that we miss the joy of actually being in the moment.

An attitude of gratitude

Sitting on a bench eating an ice-cream or walking in a park with a friend is a moment of happiness. Appreciating and showing gratitude on a daily basis is experiencing happiness in the moment.

This is what living our life in the moment is all about. Don’t miss these moments because you are too busy focusing on your pursuit of happiness.

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” – William Arthur Ward

We all possess a tendency to resist change. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Change is beneficial for us in both our personal and professional lives. It exposes us to new experiences and people and makes us more flexible and opens up the doors to more opportunities.

Suggestion: Write down one thing that are committed to doing in the next week that scares you or at the least makes you feel uncomfortable.
It can be rock-climbing, saying “no” to someone, or going out to a movie or dinner alone.

And then do it again next month. And the month after that. Then you  keep on until you embrace change and look forward to it.

Now get out there and live an OUTSTANDING life.

Go Beyond Your Limits

What if I told you that the only person who truly limits you is yourself? I bet a lot of readers would say, “That is ridiculous.” But are they being honest with themselves? I think that too often the very thing that is limiting us is ourselves.

You are capable of more than you think. And you already have proof of this, but have you noticed it? And if you did notice it, did you accept that was the result of your efforts or did you ascribe it to luck?

At some point in your life, you have surprised yourself by accomplishing something that seemed well beyond your abilities. Think back on it for a moment. Was that incident as much of a fluke as you thought it was?

The very thing that limits us is ourselves.

As I said earlier, too often, the very thing that’s limiting us is ourselves. We tend to play it safe, doing the same things over and over that we know we’re good at without trying to push beyond. After all, trying new things is scary. 

I recall many years ago learning to ski. The Austrian Alps were imposing so I booked half-day lessons for the first three days of my ski break. 

I had skied before in Canada, but that was on a hill with a drag lift. Nothing like the mountains in the Alps with their cable cars.

My morning in ski school arrived, and the instructor was great. Patient and encouraging, he helped every student improve in a few hours.

The afternoon was for freeskiing. To go out and put what you had learned into practice. And did I?

Olympics here I come.

The feeling of your skis running over the crisp snow was magical, and the sensation of speed was intoxicating. I loved it. And I could proudly say that I navigated a blue run without falling. Olympics here I come.

The next morning we all gathered for our second session of ski school. The instructor told us to raise our hands if we went skiing after our class yesterday. Everyone’s hand went up.

He then asked, keep your hand up if you fell down at least once on every single run. The hands stayed up except for four people, mine was one of the four.

We look at each other with smug satisfaction, expecting to be the class heroes.

If you are not falling, then you are not learning.

The words, “If you are not falling, then you are not learning.” felt like a slap on the face. Surely the object was not to fall, or had I missed something?

It made sense. 

Playing it safe and repeating the same lazy turns over and over again to traverse the slope would dramatically reduce the likelihood of falling. But it was not trying new things and was not helping to improve your skiing.

Push your limits.

The key to becoming a better skier was to push your limits. And that meant the chance of falling increased.

The morning lesson carried on, and he adopted his usual patient and encouraging approach. 

The next morning he asked the same two questions. This time everyone, including me, kept our hands raised. We were all proud to have fallen at least once on each run. That meant we were pushing beyond our current boundaries, and it also means our boundaries will expand.

Let’s make a decision. The decision that today is going to be different. Today we’re going to do something bold and daring.

Today, you’re going to push past our limitations. 

And here is how:

1. Tell yourself, “I am going to do this.”

The moment you say those magic words, whatever you’re pushing yourself to do becomes possible in your mind. It’s when you tell yourself that you can’t do something you’re doomed to failure. 

On the other hand, a robust can-do attitude will help you to act with boldness until you can start feeling it as well. The important thing is to take action. Many times we delay starting because we lack the confidence or we are waiting for conditions to be perfect. 

We will never have enough confidence or perfect conditions. Start now with what you have.

2. Find someone who knows what you’re going through. 

Tapping into someone else’s experience is one of the most powerful things you can do to help you realize your goals. A mentor whose boldness you admire has the wisdom to help you get where you want to go. 

As a bonus, they also become that encourager who will give you that solid kick in the arse when you need it. And that accountability partner keeping you on your goals and milestones.

3. What’s the plan? 

You’re never going to be able to push yourself to your highest limits without a solid list of mini-goals and milestones to get you there. Bold actions require a roadmap sometimes!

This is not a suggestion to develop the perfect plan before you take action. It is better to have a decent plan and take action and refine the plan than to spend all your time on the plan and take no action.

4. Keep a record. 

By journaling and writing down every day’s successes, you have something tangible that you can go back and review to see where you’ve been and how much you’ve accomplished. This record becomes inspiration and motivation.

It provides a needed reminder of all those times when you acted with boldness in the past. If we did it once, then surely we can do it again.

5. Challenge yourself. 

If you’re even slightly competitive by nature, then use that to your advantage. Set challenges for yourself. Make a bet that you can do something by a specific date and then push yourself to achieve it or over-achieve it.

When you achieve your milestones and goals consistently, you show yourself what a winner you are. Never be afraid to challenge yourself. 

To go beyond your limits and achieve your dreams, you need to press on boldly. Daring to cover new ground and challenge every limitation. 

Don’t stop until you get to where you want to be. You can do this! 

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Make Success Your Norm

This post includes nine kick-ass success habits and behaviours that high achievers engage in regularly and three actionable steps you can take right away to make success your norm. That is right! If these nine habits become your norm then you will experience far more success.

While there is no way to know precisely what makes some people successful, we can learn a lot by examining successful people. Often high achievers exhibit similar habits and behaviours. 

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” –

Max Planck, German quantum theorist and Nobel Prize winner.

The nine habits below, show up over and over again in success stories. If you want to be more successful in life, these behaviours might be an excellent place to start.

1. They Set Goals

Successful people know what they want. More than that, they actively set goals to get what they want. 

Having goals in mind doesn’t count either. You need to write your goals down, and then break them down into an action plan.

2. They Stay Healthy

Staying healthy is key on the road to success. A proper diet, solid exercise routine, and getting enough sleep are 3 of the most powerful things you can do. 

Being healthy will let you focus on the pursuit of success and not worry about always getting sick or fatigued.

3. They Face Fear

Fear is one of the biggest roadblocks to success. Just think about things you might have missed out on because you were too nervous about taking a chance. 

Successful people feel fear just like the rest of us, but instead of giving up, they face it.

4. They Learn

It is kind of a shame that school ends so early in our lives. Some people feel like that means they are done learning. 

This couldn’t be further from the truth. A commitment to lifelong learning will propel you towards success by keeping your mind sharp, and your skills up to date.

5. They Stay Organised

There may be a handful of geniuses who can create and think surrounded by a mess, but for the rest of us “normies” a cluttered space is nothing more than a distraction. 

You will save time, energy and boost focus if you keep your space neat and tidy.

6. They Keep Balanced

What is the point of success if you don’t take time to enjoy it? Hard work is clearly essential but remember to relish the good times along the way. 

Having a life balance will keep energy levels high and give you something to look forward to besides work.

7. They Take Time to Think

Do you ever make time just to think? Successful people do. They know that being successful means continually thinking “what next?“. 

If you want to be more successful, schedule 20-30 minutes of quiet thinking time into your day.

8. They Surround Themselves With Inspiring People

If you want to be successful, it helps to have successful friends. Besides the doors they may open for you, having successful friends will inspire you. 

You will learn what makes them tick, and it’s never a bad thing to have a like-minded social circle.

9. They Plan Their Day

Do you ever find yourself wondering what to do next? Successful people don’t. They take time to plan their day because they know that the time invested will pay off. 

Taking half an hour to plan your day, could save countless hours of wondering what to do next.

Action Step: Set a goal. 

It doesn’t have to be a huge goal, but whatever it is, break it down into smaller goals. These smaller goals will now become your action plan.

Action Step: What do you want to learn? 

Whatever it is, now is the time to start. Choose a topic of interest and figure out what books or courses can help you learn more about it. 

There are often free courses online, and your local library will have many of the books you need.

Action Step: Start thinking. 

Choose a time, ideally at the same time each day, to do some quiet thinking each day. You don’t have to plan what to think about, just think about whatever comes to mind. 

Think about ways to improve your career, business or life in general.

There you have it, nine success habits and behaviours and three actionable steps you can take to make success your norm.

They say that knowledge is power, but I think knowledge only becomes power when it is put into action. Are you ready to put your new knowledge into action?

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Go Beyond Your Self-Imposed Limits

Most of our limitations are self-imposed. For some crazy reason, we do that to ourselves. 

I hear you say, “No way. That is rubbish. What stops me from achieving my goals are real obstacles that even Superman could not overcome. Don’t you know, I have tried everything!”

Yeah, you have been trying and failing for too long. Far too long. So, what gives? Do you have the limitations you think you have, or is something else going on?

It could be that you’ve limited yourself. As I said earlier, most limitations are, in fact, self-imposed, for one reason or another. So how can you tell when a limitation is real or something else entirely?

Look for the word “they.” 

Anytime you make a ‘they’ statement what you’re talking about is your self-doubt.

You may feel like ‘they’ are keeping you in the same tedious job or from becoming financially independent. 

Fear doesn’t discriminate.

Still, in truth, it’s your fear holding you back.

Fear doesn’t discriminate. 

Each one of us will feel fear at some point in our lives. It can stop the strongest of people dead in their tracks, and it is probably the biggest killer of dreams.

You get all excited about beginning to follow your dream and then quickly you have to deal with fear. The fear of getting started, looking like an idiot, rejection, making a mistake, and on and on. 

Plus, there is also a fear of the unknown. Get real, is there anything we don’t have some sort of fear about?

It’s not just with big dreams either. Fear can be destructive even in your daily interactions by convincing you to turn down invitations because you’re afraid to go by yourself or you’re scared to go somewhere new.

Or you’re afraid of speaking to new people. 

Have you checked your motivation? 

It could be that you’ve lost sight of why you want what you want. When your goal becomes muddled and unclear, it can look and feel like a limitation. 

Your underlying motivation.

Understanding your underlying motivation has a massive impact on your life. And it provides a great answer to a cliche interview question. Motivation is highly individual, so it is crucial to know precisely what it is that motivates you? 

Are you feeling vulnerable? 

When you’re worried about how you’re going to look to other people, it’s easy to put limitations on your actions. The reality is, no one likes to be the subject of other people’s laughter or ridicule. 

The question is, is anyone paying any attention? Most of the time when we’re worried about how we’re going to be perceived, there’s no one even paying close attention. 

Do you lack confidence? 

If you’ve started doubting your ability to reach your goal, it’s easy to formulate limitations to keep you from having to go further.

Each one of us experiences a lack of confidence at some time. However, when we experience a sustained lack of confidence, it becomes crippling. 

A lack of confidence. 

The phrase seems pretty self-explanatory. It’s the opposite of having an abundance of confidence. But it looks completely different on different people.

Some people lack confidence in their abilities. Others lack confidence in their personal appearance. And some lack confidence in their ability to voice their opinions.

Of course, no one is confident all the time.

Each one of us experiences a lack of confidence at some time. And it’s perfectly normal to feel less than stellar every once in a while. 

If this is the case, then it can be beneficial to look back at your history.

Where have you succeeded before? What does that tell you about your ability to handle this situation?

Ask for help.

Have you tried asking for help? 

Are you stalled out due to lack of knowledge or because you’ve gone as far as you can on your own?

It might be the right time to enlist the help and support of a mentor to help you push past this specific limitation.

I get it. There are some stubborn people out there who would rather walk into work butt naked than swallow their pride and ask for assistance.

Yes, I know because I was one of those stubborn people.

For some crazy reasons, many of us perceive a request for help as a sign of weakness. And we don’t want to appear weak. When, in reality, asking for help is a sign of great strength. 

Time to call for reinforcements.

Asking for help means you’re self-aware and self-assured enough to know when it’s time to call for reinforcements. 

That doesn’t mean that asking for help is easy. Not at all, approaching someone to ask them to lend you a hand can actually be anxiety-inducing.

Where are you emotionally? 

Is depression or worry, keeping you down and inventing excuses for you to stall out? Address the emotional issues that are making you feel like you can’t get past this point.

Being emotionally out of balance usually involves one of two things. Either being so attached to and identified with them that your feelings are all-consuming.

Or not allowing yourself to experience your feelings as they evolve by avoiding or suppressing them. 

Emotional balance.

When we have emotional balance, we allow ourselves to feel whatever feelings come up, without getting overwhelmed. And we learn to accept our feelings without judgment.

The majority of us try to avoid physical as well as emotional pain. Not many of us want to be in pain.

The Pleasure-Pain Principle suggests that we behave to minimise pain and maximise pleasure.  

The logical part of our brain tells us that if we can avoid the pain, then it won’t affect us.

Ironically, efforts to keep painful thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations at bay may work temporarily.

Over the long run, it only prolongs those experiences and intensifies the suffering connected to them. 

Do you need a mental health day? 

If you’ve been plugging along for a while without seeing much success, it’s easy to get burned out and then perceive that as a limitation. 

Taking a sick day from work for a cold or any other physical health issue is commonplace.

However, taking time off to tend to your mental health is more of a grey area. 

Most companies do not have policies for mental health or personal days, and if they do, they are not promoted.

So it can be challenging to take time off when you feel you need a mental break. 

A lot of us will feel hesitant or guilty to use some of our precious holiday entitlement, and so we push ourselves to show up anyway. 

Think about it, when you’re feeling stressed, both you and your work suffer.

This potentially leads to other issues that can hurt your performance and your co-worker’s performance too.

Maintaining well-being and health.

Knowing when to take a mental health day is crucial to maintaining your overall well-being and health.

Try taking a day off so you can get your head back in the game tomorrow.

Recognising when you’re at the root of these self-imposed limitations is a good thing because that means you also have the tools to get past this point.

Close self-examination will help you determine what you need to do to move past this point, and so find the success that is waiting for you. 

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Three Ways To Attain Human Excellence

Human excellence is not a byproduct of luck or something that a few selected people are just born with.

History is full of examples of people who made their own luck and who fought adversity, drastically improved themselves, and went on to do great things.

The good news is that if they did, then so can you.

What many of us do not realise is that we can accomplish things that we might think impossible.

We have everything we need to create and build something much bigger than ourselves. Each one of us can attain human excellence.

A big part of that, irrespective of the goal, is harnessing the ability to improve ourselves continually.

Only by mastering this can we expect greener pastures in life. So how exactly do we do it then?

We can attain human excellence by adopting three new habits.

Start waking up early

This is the advice that countless successful people, from business tycoons to great artists, often give in their autobiographies.

The original idea behind it is to wake up at a time when the rest of the world is asleep and therefore, unable to distract you from your goals.

You also benefit from the fact that early in the morning, your head is not full of distracting thoughts and problems that it might be ridden with later in the day.

By starting your day early, you get a head start over 99% of the world, creating a feel-good psychological factor that motivates you to stay ahead for the rest of the day.

Improve much faster

Your productivity increases and you instill in yourself a sense of self-discipline and mastery.

Whether it is going to the gym, learning how to code an app or writing the next great novel.

Waking up early will help you improve yourself much faster than you otherwise would.

Show self-kindness

There is a remarkable difference in how we treat others and how we treat ourselves.

We are always kind and polite when we talk to friends and colleagues, but when it comes to self-talk, we are terribly harsh.

Pay attention to how you speak to yourself, and you will be amazed by how true this is.

For example, when you skip a workout in the gym, your mind tortures you with your guilt-ridden self-talk.

When you make a mistake at work, you think about it for days on end.

If someone you know spoke to you like this, how long would you want to be their friend? Not long.

Inspiration in small victories

This is why it is essential to ease up on the critical self-talk, especially when you are in the early stages of trying to improve yourself.

A mark of human excellence is top be kind when you make an error and find inspiration in small victories.

Make small changes, take small steps

Rome was not built in a day, and if you are desperately looking for quick ways to human excellence, then you have to remember that such a process is usually a marathon and not a sprint.

This is why motivational speakers the world over recommend that you take small steps while you are making small changes.

So if you have three different goals that you want to accomplish over the next few months, then you are better off to insert them in your daily routine one after another than all three at once.

Overburdened

If you start working out, learning a new language and playing the guitar on the same day, then your mind will feel overburdened. As a result, it will invent new reasons to procrastinate.

If there is one thing that our minds hate, it is when we break old and bad habits and build new productive ones.

Taking small steps helps as well. Instead of working out for two hours, 7 days a week, try to keep it for one hour, 3 times a week.

Slowly and gradually increase this frequency until your mind proves to be of no resistance at all.

Towards human excellence

Be proud of yourself that you have decided to take steps to improve yourself.

Most of the people in this world go their whole lives without feeling any desire to do so. So just by deciding to take action, you have risen above the rest and are moving towards human excellence.

Take heed of the tips mentioned above and surround yourself with things and people that inspire you.

Keep an open mind, and a positive attitude and you will realise that improving yourself and achieving human excellence is all about the right state of mind that you can instill in yourself with the due practice of the principles mentioned above.

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When Facing an Uncertain Future

Suddenly, you face an uncertain future as you watch the world around you change in an instant.

With the COVID-19 pandemic, we are experiencing a time of incredible transition and change.

When faced with such upheaval, it is natural to feel that your anchor to everything you have known is being taken away. Almost as if the very ground beneath you is crumbling. 

The only sure thing is uncertainty. We want some flavour in our lives, but we also want strategies to deal with life’s ups and downs.

“If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

An uncertain future

Everyone has times in their lives when the future is uncertain. For most of us now, it’s due to Coronavirus. Do you remember the ‘good old days’, when it might have been a big challenge or a big opportunity you knew was just around the corner? 

Change can create a tremendous amount of fear as your mind gets filled with thoughts such as, What will happen to me? Can I support myself financially in the future? Will my children be all right? 

As you experience the uncomfortable feelings of being groundless, you become aware that the future is uncertain. There are people out there (entrepreneurs) who, even without COVID-19, feel the future is always uncertain. 

Let’s take some advice from them on how to deal with an uncertain future.

1. Continue to plan

Planning is the key to living intentionally rather than reactively. But how do we make time to plan when our days are filled with uncertainty?

When our days are like that, it’s easy to get lost in the drama. The risk is that we end up always having to play catch up, that we are being reactive instead of proactive. 

This is a time when a little bit of planning and forethought and planning can make a huge difference.

So, I suggest making at least three plans. A Plan A, if things go well, as anticipated. Plan B, if things take a wrong turn. Plan C, if things go far better than you expected.

When you have a plan, you have actions to undertake. And better to have alternate plans and know what you can be doing instead of throwing your plans in the trash and living in complete uncertainty.

Plan on several levels

Planning can happen on various levels. Obviously, you need to have a business plan ready when an opportunity or an investor comes your way. What I’m referring to is more of a method for facing the uncertainty coming your way. This might require something on a shorter term, say a 90-day plan or even a 30-day plan.

When you plan, you make the best of the time you have, you practically ensure progress towards your goals, and you ensure you have the resources you need to make the most of the opportunities you have.

When you make time to plan you can see that some of the things you’re currently doing may not be moving you towards your goals or you can figure out ways to do what you’re doing better. 

Recap #1: Make time to plan.

2. Focus on things you can control

The elements you can control are the things that go into your plan first and foremost. You can’t decide for anyone else what they will or will not do. But you can prepare to be at your best and most influential when you talk with them. 

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” – Steve Maraboli

Being able to discern the difference between the things we can control and the things we can’t comes up frequently in conversations with clients. Surprisingly, it always comes back to one principle:

You can control your input, but not the outcome.

I can control how I show up every day, but I can’t control other people’s opinion of me.

I can control how much effort and time I put into preparing for a sales meeting, but I can’t control whether I end up getting the contract. 

In each of these situations, we can influence the outcome, but we can’t control it.

A personal example, and this was a huge learning curve for me.

There are some things most, if not all, people worry about nowadays: Might I contract Coronavirus? If I do, will I survive? If I do, will I recover fully and so on? These are massive things. 

Unfortunately, they are also the things that I can’t control.

Yes, I can absolutely influence them, but I don’t get to decide how they turn out. And stressing and worrying about them doesn’t change this.

I can control how many times I wash my hands each day and how often I touch my face. I can make sure I minimise the risk of contracting the virus, and I can maximise my health in case I do. 

So I focus on the elements that I can control and that places the responsibility of the plan’s success primarily on me.

Recap #2: With your plan, focus on the things you can control.

3. Have a morning routine

Whether you’re a morning person who rises at 5 am or a night owl who burns the midnight oil, we all have to start our morning at some point. And curiously, we all seem to start it differently. There are a billion different ways a morning could go.

But which morning routine is the best?

There’s probably not one ideal morning routine that is perfect for everyone. If we look at the morning routines of high achievers as well as the latest research, we can learn a lot.

Bear in mind, it is easy to maintain a morning routine when everything is going well. Still, it becomes more of a challenge when we face an uncertain future. You might get into a ‘why bother’ mindset.

Maximise today

If the future is uncertain, then we need to maximise today. Let’s start the morning on the right foot and boost our productivity. 

Your first task of the day should be significant and meaningful. Something that requires a lot of focus, will, and determination to accomplish. 

The logic behind that is that we have limited self-control.

The strength model suggests that self-control draws from a pool of common resources that gets depleted. Think of self-control as a muscle that gets fatigued after it is used.

Researchers have come to the following conclusion:

As the day goes on, your self-control experiences greater and greater depletion. That makes it vitally important to make those early morning hours count.

Recap #3: Start the day on the right foot with a morning routine that helps you accomplish your plan.

4. Understand the nature of fear

I want to introduce two crucial concepts taken from CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). 

Following from point 2. Focus on things you can control, the only things that you can truly control in life are your thoughts and actions.

Thoughts create feelings which determine actions. 

Studies have shown that you have a thought first and then the feeling. You cannot have a feeling without first having a thought. 

Mindfulness

This is wonderful news and validates the value of developing an awareness of your thoughts. A practice we commonly call mindfulness. 

It follows that if we can control our thoughts, we can influence how we feel and what actions might follow as a result.

Consider this, both anxiety and fear only live in future thinking.

They are based on events that MIGHT happen, but haven’t happened yet and actually MAY NEVER happen. 

When you understand the nature of fear, you understand that fear loves to have power over you in this way.

It creates the illusion that events that might happen have already happened! And you feel every one of them.

Anxiety and fear do not exist in present moment thinking. When you stay in the present, you eliminate your anxiety and fear.

Recap #4: Become aware of your thoughts and how they create feelings that drive your actions. 

5. Know your non-negotiables in advance.

There are some things that you care about more than other things. It’s unique to each of us. 

Without awareness or consideration, boundaries can be crossed, rejected, or overlooked.

This makes us feel confused, hurt or invalidated. 

And if this happens often enough, it alters our reality. It affects the relationship we have with ourselves and with others as well.

You need to develop boundaries that you consider non-negotiables to create a happy and healthy life. Dr Carla Marie Manly is the author of Joy From Fear, and she suggests that when you set boundaries, you create a sense of internal and external security.

When we set boundaries, it allows us to be clear on our needs, and this helps to maintain clear limits with others.

The difference between non-negotiables and regular boundaries

Struggling with the difference between non-negotiables and regular boundaries?

Okay, think that our non-negotiables are those elements that we must have in our life to feel safe and secure.

Some boundaries are flexible in their nature, but non-negotiables are essential to our sense of being honoured and respected.

It might take time to figure out and incorporate your non-negotiables into your everyday routine.

Many of the people I work with are not feel comfortable when they start to do this. I emphasise that developing these boundaries benefits your present and future self. 

And that’s a pretty cool thing to consider.

Below, Manly provides a general list of non-negotiable boundaries you can consider for your personal life and how you can maintain them for the long haul.

Having non-negotiable boundaries become a part of your life will transform your world. 

Time to beware, at first observation, I can’t tell what your non-negotiables are, and you can’t tell what mine are.

But if we get to know each other better than we might get an inkling.

Recap #5: Throughout your days and weeks, have non-negotiables that act like big rocks within a shaky terrain.

6. Remember your why

Your ‘Why’ is the foundation you can stand on, no matter how uncertain the ground around you becomes.

Revisit your why repeatedly. Not just for yourself, but for everyone with whom you work and you work for.

To know your ‘Why’ is amongst the most important things you can understand in your life.

Your Why is your purpose in life, what you believe you are meant to do here.

It is the reason you get out of bed in the morning and do all that you do. 

A few of us know our ‘Why‘, the majority of us don’t. For some of us our ‘Why‘ changes over time.

Knowing your purpose in life is crucial because it gives you direction. It allows you to prioritise and let go of all that isn’t serving that purpose.

Coming back to your Why regularly allows you to assess where you are in your journey.

Are you living a fulfilling life and on track or did you take a wrong path and need to find your way back?

When your Why guides your decisions, you have the confidence that you are making the right decisions even if they are difficult.

Pursuing your Why might require that you say goodbye to some people to leave room for new ones.

Do you know your Why? 

My Why infuses everything I do, and it guides how I build my business and my life.

Take a moment to reflect on your life purpose. If you are not sure what it is, don’t judge yourself too harshly. Give yourself time to figure it out. Your Why is there waiting to be discovered and fully tapped into. 

Recap #6: Your why is your foundation. Keep yourself locked onto it, no matter the storms or mountains you face.

How do you face uncertainty and triumph? Leave a comment we’d love to hear from you.

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Feeling Overwhelmed? This Changes Everything

Feeling overwhelmed is a daily routine. These days no one knows where to start. We get assaulted with wave after wave of bad news, of death and loss, and of COVID-19.

Overwhelm is a state of emotional paralysis when you feel that you’re unable to cope or handle the circumstances you face.

The entirety of the experience fogs our brain and hinders us from seeing things clearly. You become crippled with indecision. 

But things don’t need to be this way.

It is so hard to focus with this much uncertainty. Your to-do list holds so many competing and different priorities that you feel anxious about starting anything.

Grinding for your goals

And in your depth of anxiety, you relinquish your stress to the couch and binge-watch Netflix instead of grinding for your goals.

I know this story, trust me, I know it too well.

We get overwhelmed when we struggle with too much information, too many choices or too many responsibilities.

The dictionary definition of overwhelm is too poignant not to share it: “to bury or drown beneath a huge mass; to defeat completely.” Oh damn!

I get it, we are buried beneath activities, to-do lists, commitments, career paths, the news, what to eat, and what to wear.

It is hardly surprising that we’re utterly defeated by the time it comes to making a decision.

The reality

The reality is that we are overwhelmed because, with so much conflicting information, we lack clarity on what we want! In this time of uncertainty, if we truly understood our dreams, goals, hopes, passions, and purpose, we would have a clear action plan. 

Want to know the irony? Clarity only comes from execution and confidence comes from taking action! We can only have clarity in our lives when we try something, fail, try something new, and fail again. 

So why should we be afraid of failure?

It might be obvious the direction I am going with this. We repeat these destructive cycles of fear, overwhelm, doing nothing and never trying.

The truth is that when we do nothing, we fail anyway.

The hard truth

To be overwhelmed is a choice. “Stop right there!” I hear you say. “You know nothing of my circumstances, you know nothing of what I have been through or what I am facing.”

It is a choice to perpetuate this cycle when we fail to give ourselves the time to prioritise and reflect on what needs to get done first or what’s most important.

When our anxiety peaks, we become paralysed, and we choose to do nothing. 

And we decide to relinquish our dreams because it seems like too much effort and hard work.

We convince ourselves that the circumstances make it impossible, so don’t even bother trying.

What is overwhelmed?

It is when we feel as though we’re unable to handle or cope with our circumstances. It is a form of emotional paralysis.

It is common to feel you’re lacking control, which leads to your indecision. The feeling of overwhelm can result from having too many options or choices on hand.

When you’re mired in, overwhelm it feels like you are lodged in quicksand.

It is common to find yourself using phrases like “I’ll never get this done,” “This is too much for me,” “I can’t handle this,” “I can’t do it all by myself.” 

These thoughts are toxic and will trigger feelings of anxiety and worry.

When your mind is filled with these thoughts, you may feel helpless and disempowered and pushed to make quick decisions.

Lack of clarity

This stems from your lack of clarity. 

When overwhelmed, you can’t see things clearly.

This results in confusion and exposes you to feeling like things are out of your direct control and influence. 

Your problems seem more significant and closer than they actually are, and you indulge in complaining, negativity, procrastination, and blaming your circumstances or others for your predicament. 

You only end up more stressed and exhausted. And the destructive cycle perpetuates itself.

The challenge 

The challenge is that many of us are too comfortable in this state.

We decide to stay in this negative cycle rather than remove ourselves from it.

We prefer to blame something else or someone else for our inaction or missteps than accept that we’re 100% in control of our lives.

The blame game becomes the band-aid we apply to our wounds.

If being overwhelmed is a choice, and it is, we need to realise that we love choosing what’s known, comfortable, and safe. 

Yes, I am saying that if you have chosen to be overwhelmed before then, you will choose it again.

Because it is known, comfortable and safe for you. It is your habit.

Take action

I said it earlier, clarity comes from execution and confidence comes from taking action. When you think you have tried everything and everything seems to fail, and you are still feeling overwhelmed, just do something. 

Don’t give up because it’s too hard or you feel confused or don’t know where to start.

Start somewhere. It doesn’t matter if it’s the “right” step or the most logical step.

Try it anyway. 

It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t work out, at least you have the clarity from taking a step forward.

That clarity can help you get creative and find another way. Or, maybe it does work out, and you wouldn’t know this unless you took that step! 

Clarity comes from execution.

We have to keep trying, keep moving forward and keep going to understand what works for us and what’s a giant waste of time.

The takeaway

Maya Angelou wrote: “When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment.”

When you get involved and take powerful action it fuels forward movement. It provides the momentum you need to push past the feelings of overwhelm and on to bigger and better things. 

If we believe that the journey is the reward, then we should not fill ours with inaction, stress, and overwhelm.

Power through your journey with confidence and clarity.

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