This post includes powerful tips related to resolving a conflict. And it also contains three actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information.
Conflict is a part of everyone’s life. They will happen to you eventually, and often when you least expect them.
They may not be not pleasant, but they are something that you must deal with. Thankfully, there are many steps you can take to minimise the impact of these conflicts:
Don’t let a conflict build.
Many people are afraid to confront the people causing the difficulty in their life. In most cases, this will cause the situation to get much worse.
“For good ideas and true innovation, you need human interaction, conflict, argument, debate.” – Margaret Heffernan
The people causing this hassle will continue to act in this manner and may even get worse. When they find you won’t do anything about it, they have the upper hand.
Discuss it with the person or people who caused it.
Try to speak with the person in private. Keeping the conversation private will make sure that you aren’t airing anyone’s dirty laundry.
By keeping the meeting to yourselves, the other person will be more willing to speak freely and discuss the situation.
Take a break to stop the situation from getting heated.
Situations are less likely to be resolved when all the parties involved are screaming at each other. Therefore, when emotions start to elevate, schedule a follow-up meeting.
This won’t always be possible as some situations need to be resolved immediately, but for heated situations that don’t require this, try to postpone the meeting.
Structure a win-win when possible.
Try to offer solutions where everyone wins. If that’s not possible, then find solutions that are satisfactory to everyone involved.
“Conflict requires your participation to survive.” – David Brett-Williams
It may not be perfect. But, if everyone goes away with something, they can feel victorious.
Don’t get personal.
Unless it concerns someone getting personal with you, try not to get personal with other people. Conflict often arises because of certain situations that are separate from one’s personality.
When you avoid getting personal, chances are that the exchange will not get heated.
Don’t jump to conclusions.
Ask questions to learn what motivated people to engage in this hassle in the first place. This can often bring to light reasons that are valid.
It could also be that those who created the conflict did so without a full understanding of the situation. Asking questions can help everyone figure out where they actually stand.
Don’t blindly accept what onlookers say about the situation.
When others are observing a situation but are not directly involved, they may not get their facts straight. Therefore, be cautious about the information you gather from the onlookers.
“When you have a conflict, that means that there are truths that have to be addressed on each side of the conflict. And when you have a conflict, then it’s an educational process to try to resolve the conflict. And to resolve that, you have to get people on both sides of the conflict involved so that they can dialogue.” – Dolores Huerta
Consider the information but don’t jump to conclusions. The people causing the conflict need to be heard as well.
Actionable Steps.
1. Join an adult debate club.
There are several debate clubs available for adults. You can look online or find some clubs on Meetup.com.
When you learn how to debate, you will get better at resolving conflicts. You’ll need to attend meetings as often as possible. Like anything else, it takes practice.
2. Read one book per month on how to resolve conflicts.
You can expand your selection of books to profiles of people who were expert at this activity. The more information you learn from it, the better you will be when situations arise.
You can use the readings as an encyclopedia of solutions when the situations are similar to what you’ve read.
3. Take an online course on negotiation.
This is going to be a crucial skill when trying to resolve conflicts. It’s a skill that can serve you well in other areas, too.
“People like to say that the conflict is between good and evil. The real conflict is between truth and lies.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
You can find them online with TED talks or YouTube videos. Free videos may be available on Udemy.com and other instructional websites as well.
Further Reading.
Dignity: The Essential Role It Plays in Resolving Conflict
