Change Your Brain For The Better

Want to change your brain for the better? Want to be a better version of you? Then here are three ways that will do just that.

First of let’s try gratitude. Yes, it is time to get into the ‘Gratitude Groove’.

A. The Gratitude Groove

The art of practising gratitude is just that – an art. It’s not always easy to feel thankful, especially when things aren’t going your way. But oddly enough, an attitude of gratitude might be what the doctor ordered.

Not only does being thankful lead to a higher rate of contentment in your everyday life, but it assures better sleep and even brings down levels of depression through the production of dopamine in the brain.

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama

But the change of rewiring brain neurons sometimes takes some effort, especially if you’re already having a bad day. How can you get into the gratitude groove when you’re not feeling it?

A1. Change by appreciating the little things.

When life is particularly overwhelming, sometimes the only gratitude that we can genuinely feel is for the small things. And that’s just fine.

Taking time to be thankful for that cup of coffee, or that you got that excellent parking space might not seem like much but acknowledging them will do wonders for your mood.

Spending your day looking for small things to appreciate has the interesting effect of making you notice the bigger picture items you can be grateful for as well.

A2. Stop worrying about what other people have.

If you feel like you can’t be grateful because someone else has it better, then your focus is in the wrong place. Who cares what your neighbour has? Be grateful for what you have.

A3. Keep a gratitude journal.

If you’re having trouble finding things to be grateful for, then make a practice of writing down the things for which you’re thankful. Why? First, by writing things down, you find them easier to remember.

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” – Harriet Tubman

But second, you’re creating a record that you can look at to remind yourself that you do have many good things in your life.

A4. Donate.

Whether giving your time or resources, nothing makes for gratitude like helping someone else and seeing their appreciation.

You might even find new things to be grateful about as well – like your ability to help, or perhaps you have a talent or skill you’re able to share. That makes this a win-win all the way around.

A5. Make gratitude habitual.

Try setting a time to be grateful. Before bed, you can list great things that happened today. Or maybe you’d prefer to start your day in gratitude.

Whatever the case, getting into the mindset of daily gratitude will help you to keep on the lookout for things for which you should be grateful.

“You are the only thing holding you back from happiness. You have the ability to change your life radically for better or worse.” – Tara Stiles

Making the change to the gratitude groove is a lot easier to get into than you think.

You start just by being thankful for the things you have in your life, and the rest grows from there.

B. Develop the Growth Mindset Habit

When deciding what change to make and what new habit to pursue, it’s easy to look at all the things we shouldn’t do as a place to begin. We want to stop smoking or stress eating.

We want to learn how to say ‘no’ or to quit spending so much time on social media.

Have you ever considered the flipside of all that by building a positive habit? What if the habit you formed was one of growth and personal development?

Having a growth mindset positively impacts your life in multiple ways, so it’s a great healthy habit to build into your life. What are the benefits of developing a growth mindset?

B1. You keep learning.

Learning is crucial as you not only discover new ways to do things, but by making a practice of continually learning, you develop new ways of thinking, and new ideas.

“To make a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.” – David Brett-Williams

Learning connects you with more of the world and helps you see things with a more profound significance than you ever thought possible. But more than that, people who stop learning very quickly stagnate.

Studies have shown that the practice of learning new things when you are older helps ward off problems related to dementia. In short, learning is good for your brain!

B2. You learn perseverance.

As we learn new things, we adapt and change how we think. That gives us the ability to see other solutions to problems that would have frustrated us in the past.

By challenging yourself to grow, you learn how to push through obstacles and find new paths.

B3. You learn how to embrace challenges.

Growth can be challenging. But by pushing yourself to grow, that means you’re also pushing yourself to look at challenges differently.

An obstacle now becomes an opportunity to learn something new and to do things in a way you haven’t before.

B4. You learn how to embrace failure.

When you’re interested in growing as an individual, you start to see failure differently. Everything becomes a potential lesson in a way that you didn’t think would work.

B5. You become more open to criticism.

By being willing to grow, you start to see that the input of other people has significance.

“The world will change for the better when people decide they are sick and tired of being sick and tired of the way the world is, and decide to change themselves.” – Sydney Madwed

You see their words not so much as something negative, but something you can use to develop as a person and learn something about yourself. You might not always like the lesson, but that’s part of growing too.

By embracing personal growth, you find the best version of yourself. You’re able to become more than you ever thought possible, and then you turn that around by finding out that you can become more still.

You’ll find that the furthest edges of yourself are far beyond what you thought you ever could be.

C. Make Meditation a Life-Long Habit

Feeling stressed? Meditation might have the answers that you need.

Meditation has been practised for centuries by people from all walks of life. And not just to relax, but to promote happiness, mindfulness, and to improve memory and self-control.

But more than that, meditation has been found to have numerous health benefits, such as lowering blood pressure and heart rate and has even been thought to improve metabolism.

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” – Simone de Beauvoir

With so many benefits, it seems meditation should be an easy answer to life’s problems. Why then do people avoid it?

Mostly because they feel like it’s too much of a commitment. Or because they doubt that they can keep it up long enough to have any benefit.

What most people don’t realise that is that meditating only 2 minutes a day is enough to not only see a positive benefit in your life but can be used to jump-start a lifelong habit that will drastically improve your quality of life. How?

C1. Start with the commitment.

You’re only meditating two minutes. Anyone can meditate for two minutes, so why not try?

C2. Decide when you want to meditate.

Don’t pick a specific time of day because that only sets you up for disaster. Instead choose a trigger time, like right after breakfast or before bed.

C3. Find your quiet place.

That is a space that makes you feel calm, where you’re not likely to be interrupted or distracted by a lot of noise. The nice thing?

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” – Carol Burnett

You can meditate anywhere so if you feel most at peace at the park, then go for it!

C4. Change by sitting comfortably.

The last thing you want is screaming muscles telling you to stop because you have a charley-horse. You’re going to want to sit up nice and straight so keep that in mind as you choose your position.

C5. Remind yourself it’s only for 2 minutes.

You’re not running a marathon here. Just relax and accept that this time is yours.

C6. Breathe in.

Follow your breath and try to be aware of where it goes from nostrils into the throat and down into your chest. Remember to keep your back straight. Hold the breath there.

C7. Breathe out.

Release the breath nice and slow. Count to 10 if it helps. Follow it back out of your body and release with it all the tension and worries that have been plaguing you. That is part of the focus.

“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” – Arnold Bennett

Repeat steps 6 and 7 for two minutes. If you find that your mind doesn’t want to sit still, accept that, but bring your focus back to your breathing as soon as you can. Let your thoughts drift. Focus on your breath.

Meditation doesn’t have to be difficult, nor does it take a long-time commitment. Doing it for only two minutes a day will help you to build the habit.

As time passes, you’ll want to increase your meditation time. Be patient with yourself and go gently. Your body and your mind will thank you.

So there we have three habits, Gratitude, Growth Mindset and Meditation that will change your brain for the better and help create a better version of you. Time to get to work, make the change and live an outstanding life.

Projecting Confidence Is The New You

This report includes powerful tips related to projecting confidence. It also contains three actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information.

When you can project confidence, you’ll find that you get more of what you want out of life. That’s because others love a confident person.

“Doubt can motivate you, so don’t be afraid of it. Confidence and doubt are at two ends of the scale, and you need both. They balance each other out.” – Barbra Streisand

It has been shown that people are more willing to follow someone who is confident rather than someone who has low self-esteem.

Believe in yourself.

You cannot project confidence if you don’t have a belief in yourself or what you are doing. For instance, if you want to start a business, you need to believe that your business is feasible.

If you don’t believe in yourself, then you can’t possibly project genuine confidence.

Get others to believe in you.

When you project confidence, you will find followers to your cause. They will be attracted to your strength and will feel comfortable that you know what you are doing.

“With confidence and a strong work ethic, most dreams can come true.” – David Brett-Williams

It is much easier to act confident when you are surrounded by the belief of others.

Create an environment for others to succeed.

Confident people don’t fear competition. If you are in a position of power, you can project confidence by promoting a successful environment for all.

People will see that you aren’t afraid of being upstaged. There are few things more confident than someone who isn’t afraid of other’s success.

Remain calm.

If you overreact to every situation that comes your way, people are going to lose confidence in your abilities to lead. They will view this as a weakness and will suspect you lack confidence.

“Confidence is key. Sometimes, you need to look like you’re confident even when you’re not.” – Vanessa Hudgens

Once that happens, it’s hard to turn that image of you around in their minds. Try to keep calm even during tense situations.

Use the right body language.

It might not be fair, but we are often judged by our appearance. One of the best ways to project confidence is to make an excellent first impression with the proper body language.

Stand tall, make eye contact and shake hands firmly and confidently.

Dress for success.

This goes hand in hand with the last tip. If you want to feel more confident, then dress the part.

“Beauty is grace and confidence. I’ve learned to accept and appreciate what nature gave me.” – Lindsay Lohan

Take some time in the morning to make sure your outfit and personal hygiene is really on point. The time spent doing this will easily pay off down the road when you feel and act more confident.

Know your capabilities.

If you are well aware of your strengths and capabilities, then you will naturally be more confident.

Having a good grasp of what you are good at, what you enjoy, and what you know will allow you to project more confidence.

Actionable Steps

1. Be more positive.

Having confidence requires being positive. Otherwise, you won’t believe in yourself and others won’t either.

Use daily affirmations to shift your mindset to positivity from negativity. You’ll find plenty of resources online that can give you the affirmations you need.

You are also welcome to create your own. Make sure you say them out loud every day.

2. Analyse your past failures and learn why they happened.

Also, determine what you did that you would do differently the next time something similar were to happen. Start recording your failures and continue to analyse them in the future.

“Confidence is a crucial building block in a successful career, and embracing it fully will take you places you never thought possible. With proper guidance and hard work, anyone can become more confident. Once you pass a certain point, you’ll feel it from the inside.” – Travis Bradberry

Be sure to accept that failure is a learning process rather than something to be ashamed of.

3. Ask three people you know what they think are your strengths and weaknesses.

This will prove that you are better at things than you believe. It can also help you improve on the areas that are considered weaknesses.

Once you improve on some of these key weaknesses, you will be naturally more confident.

Further Reading

The Confident New You

You Are a Badass®: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness

The Confidence Code

The Confidence Gap

Why You Fail To Set Boundaries And How To Start

You need to realise that having problems setting boundaries is normal.

Imagine, you’ve gotten roped into staying late at work. Again. Or you’ve committed to something that you didn’t want to but felt you had to.

Now you’re beating yourself up because you know you should have better boundaries, but you don’t seem to understand how to form them. What do you do?

You need to set boundaries.

You’ve probably heard the phrase before, but maybe you’re unsure what it means. Just what ARE personal boundaries, and what difference do they make in your life?

To understand it, you have to understand what a boundary is. Let’s start at the dictionary and go from there:

bound·a·ry (noun) a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

“Don’t be afraid to push the boundaries and go after your dreams. Never set limits!” – David Brett-Williams

Most dividing lines are pretty easy to see. The world is full of fences and dividers, clearly marking off space. A personal boundary does the same thing, only on a more undetectable and internal level. Let’s look at this on a little closer.

What are boundaries?

1. It tells you what your responsibility is in a given situation.

You already have some boundaries at work or school. These are the parameters of your job or your responsibility as a student and usually, are marked out pretty clearly when you took the job or where enrolled.

On a personal level, a boundary tells you who you’re responsible for (yourself of course, but you might also be a caregiver). But what about your other responsibilities such as paying your bills, or taking care of your pets?

2. It keeps you safe.

Many of these should go without saying – such as abstaining from drinking and driving. But sometimes you have to set some such boundaries for yourself.

“The biggest competition is myself. I am not looking to follow others or pull them down. I’m planning to test my own boundaries.” – Rain

Such as whether or not it’s healthy to be in a relationship with a particular individual.

3. They tell us who we are.

Are you a good person? A bad person? A selfish person? A pious one? Our moral code becomes the boundary that defines us.

4. It clarifies your needs.

What things need to be in place in your life for you to be happiest and healthiest? What protects you for overwork or abuse?

5. They define your relationships.

What are the parameters of your relationship? Is that healthy? What is your responsibility to that other person? How are they responsible for you?

With all that, it makes sense that having strong boundaries is a good idea. Especially when you take into consideration these facts:

Boundaries…
…give you a better idea of who you are
…help others to understand your needs
…give guidelines in your relationships
…make for healthy interactions with other people

And perhaps most important of all, they are an integral part of self-care.
As a side note remember this: Boundaries need to be revisited occasionally and re-evaluated.

“My motto in life is ‘Take risks;’ you don’t have a voice if you don’t. You have to venture outside your boundaries. That’s what life’s all about.” – Kelly Wearstler

As we grow and change, our boundaries will change as well.

With all this at stake, it’s no wonder we give boundaries such a lot of attention. Boundaries can mean the difference between a happy and healthy life and a life of drudgery and resentment.

Is it time to learn where to draw the line? So let’s examine why we don’t like setting boundaries.

1. Fear.

The number one reason we don’t do anything is generally fear. When you don’t know what the outcome is going to be when you first set that boundary, it’s bound to be terrifying.

2. It would be selfish.

After all, why should your needs come before anyone else’s?

3. Taking care of yourself is unusual.

This point is an extension of the last one. Not only is self-care selfish, but it would take time and resources from caring for others. Forgetting of course, that we can’t take care of anyone if we don’t take care of ourselves first.

4. Someone’s going to get mad at you.

Which of course will lead to conflict and maybe even a confrontation. You might find yourself thinking that setting a boundary in these situations is just not worth it.

5. Doing it the other way is a habit.

It might be that you’re used to being asked to stay late at work – every day. Now it’s a habit to stay. The problem is, habits are hard to break, which means setting that boundary doesn’t just involve putting your foot down but changing an entire way of thinking.

6. There’s a price to pay for saying ‘no.’

If other people trample over your needs to get their own needs met, then when you do say no, you know there’s going to be a negative repercussion. And who needs that kind of commotion in your life?

7. It’s not all that important anyway. Is it?

That has more to do with self-esteem than anything. And yes, your boundaries are just that important.

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown

So how do you go about setting boundaries when that’s unusual for you?

Start by asking for what you want – and be specific.
Be open to compromise.
Have an exit strategy if they say ‘no.’ What will you accept?
Be ready emotionally for a negative response. Not everything will be a ‘yes.’
Don’t take rejection personally.

Boundaries don’t have to be terrifying. Understanding why you don’t set them is the first step toward establishing positive change.

When you use what you know to set solid boundaries for yourself, you will discover peace and happiness that you never knew was even possible.

Tips To Help You Resolve Conflict

This post includes powerful tips related to resolving a conflict. And it also contains three actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information.

Conflict is a part of everyone’s life. They will happen to you eventually, and often when you least expect them.

They may not be not pleasant, but they are something that you must deal with. Thankfully, there are many steps you can take to minimise the impact of these conflicts:

Don’t let a conflict build.

Many people are afraid to confront the people causing the difficulty in their life. In most cases, this will cause the situation to get much worse.

“For good ideas and true innovation, you need human interaction, conflict, argument, debate.” – Margaret Heffernan

The people causing this hassle will continue to act in this manner and may even get worse. When they find you won’t do anything about it, they have the upper hand.

Discuss it with the person or people who caused it.

Try to speak with the person in private. Keeping the conversation private will make sure that you aren’t airing anyone’s dirty laundry.

By keeping the meeting to yourselves, the other person will be more willing to speak freely and discuss the situation.

Take a break to stop the situation from getting heated.

Situations are less likely to be resolved when all the parties involved are screaming at each other. Therefore, when emotions start to elevate, schedule a follow-up meeting.

This won’t always be possible as some situations need to be resolved immediately, but for heated situations that don’t require this, try to postpone the meeting.

Structure a win-win when possible.

Try to offer solutions where everyone wins. If that’s not possible, then find solutions that are satisfactory to everyone involved.

“Conflict requires your participation to survive.” – David Brett-Williams

It may not be perfect. But, if everyone goes away with something, they can feel victorious.

Don’t get personal.

Unless it concerns someone getting personal with you, try not to get personal with other people. Conflict often arises because of certain situations that are separate from one’s personality.

When you avoid getting personal, chances are that the exchange will not get heated.

Don’t jump to conclusions.

Ask questions to learn what motivated people to engage in this hassle in the first place. This can often bring to light reasons that are valid.

It could also be that those who created the conflict did so without a full understanding of the situation. Asking questions can help everyone figure out where they actually stand.

Don’t blindly accept what onlookers say about the situation.

When others are observing a situation but are not directly involved, they may not get their facts straight. Therefore, be cautious about the information you gather from the onlookers.

“When you have a conflict, that means that there are truths that have to be addressed on each side of the conflict. And when you have a conflict, then it’s an educational process to try to resolve the conflict. And to resolve that, you have to get people on both sides of the conflict involved so that they can dialogue.” – Dolores Huerta

Consider the information but don’t jump to conclusions. The people causing the conflict need to be heard as well.

Actionable Steps.

1. Join an adult debate club.

There are several debate clubs available for adults. You can look online or find some clubs on Meetup.com.

When you learn how to debate, you will get better at resolving conflicts. You’ll need to attend meetings as often as possible. Like anything else, it takes practice.

2. Read one book per month on how to resolve conflicts.

You can expand your selection of books to profiles of people who were expert at this activity. The more information you learn from it, the better you will be when situations arise.

You can use the readings as an encyclopedia of solutions when the situations are similar to what you’ve read.

3. Take an online course on negotiation.

This is going to be a crucial skill when trying to resolve conflicts. It’s a skill that can serve you well in other areas, too.

“People like to say that the conflict is between good and evil. The real conflict is between truth and lies.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

You can find them online with TED talks or YouTube videos. Free videos may be available on Udemy.com and other instructional websites as well.

Further Reading.

Resolving Everyday Conflict

Dignity: The Essential Role It Plays in Resolving Conflict

Resolving Conflicts at Work

Resolving Conflict: How to Make, Disturb, and Keep Peace

The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict