How To Make Your Struggles With Adversity Matter
You never want to face adversity. Unfortunately, the reality is that you will encounter adverse situations.
It’s not a matter of if you do, but when. As my Mum would say, “Every cloud has a silver lining.”
And if there is to be a silver lining to adversity, it’s that you will learn from it. That is if you are willing to learn.
The deeper the adversity you face, the more it tests your resolve. You will learn much about yourself in how you deal with your situation.
“People can grow from adversity.” – David Brett-Williams
Of course, if you are not willing to admit you have the situation to deal with in the first place, then you won’t draw from those lessons learned.
You will learn to reassess your priorities. Suddenly, you will discover what is truly important in your life.
Find a new job
For instance, you may think your job is the most important aspect of your life. Then, you face your adverse situation and realise that your family and friends are much more important.
You can always find a new job.
You will learn that change is the one aspect of life you can depend on most.
People have a difficult time accepting change. The trouble is that change continually happens.
When you find yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to deal with something, you will accept the change.
Allow change to occur
If you don’t, the problem may not correct itself. You will become miserable by not allowing change to occur.
Seek the opportunities that may exist from your adverse situation. You may find that you are good at something you hadn’t realised.
“You have to develop an inner philosophy to deal with adversity.” – David Brett-Williams
The situation forced you to use skills you didn’t know you had. It’s difficult to think in this capacity because you are dealing with your situation.
But, try to recognise the opportunities.
You are going to meet people as part of the process. These people may be vital in helping you through your situations.
Adversity brings people together
More importantly, a few of them may become close friends. Adversity has a way of bringing people together.
Some adversity lies in dealing with others who don’t agree with you. That allows you to learn about how others approach a situation.
You will see what kind of character those people possess. Try to learn about their feelings and their motivations.
When you do, you can see their perspective on the issue.
Although you may see their point of view, it doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, nor does it mean you should back down. However, you will be in a better position when dealing with them.
It’s Natural for People to Make Mistakes
Have you ever made a mistake? It’s not likely that you went as far in your life without making any mistakes.
Most people (if not all) make them. Also, they will continue to make them. It’s part of the human experience.
“Humans are not quitters. We are designed to endure a lot of physical adversity. It’s in our nature to be battlers.” – David Brett-Williams
Sometimes, people make mistakes that will put you in awkward positions.
For instance, suppose you own a company and one of your workers mistakenly misrepresented your company. You know that your company is responsible for that misrepresentation.
The person may not have known they made a mistake.
You’re fired
Your first reaction may be to fire the person. In some cases, you would be justified in doing so.
However, did the person have the necessary knowledge to prevent him or her from misinforming others? If not, you need to consider that regarding the situation.
But if people deliberately took adverse action, then that is a different situation.
If they did know what they were doing, but they had malicious intent, then you are within your right to let them go. You should make sure that they were acting maliciously, however.
There are no easy answers when people make significant mistakes. They may not be able to make it right, either.
An opportunity to rectify
You will be left to deal with the consequences. It is easy to lash out at the person responsible. Of course, you should give them the opportunity to rectify it if they can.
The way some people deal with the situation of others making mistakes is to reflect on their own mistakes. This way, you can empathise with them.
“Goals keep you motivated when you face adversity.” – David Brett-Williams
When that happens, you’ll be less likely to lash out at them and make the wrong decisions.
There are situations where people make the same mistakes repeatedly, even when you give them guidance on how not to make those mistakes.
That is tough as these people may not be acting maliciously but may not have the ability to change. For instance, not everyone is cut out with their chosen vocations.
Small impacts add up
In these situations, you need to weigh whether the mistakes they make have a serious impact. Even small impacts can add up when repeated.
When people make mistakes, and you forgive them, they will be appreciative. Many of these people will use your forgiveness as a means to grow.
They become better people because of it. You will feel good knowing that these people have used the situation to their advantage.
Learn the Facts Before Passing Judgment
Adversity often occurs when people react without having all the facts. Sometimes, they will think they have the facts but learned the wrong information.
These situations can be avoided altogether by just getting the facts and making sure they are correct.
“Adversity is a great teacher because it allows you to see so much. It really allows you to see things in a different way.” – David Brett-Williams
When you have the facts on your side, you can present your argument. Further, you will be less likely to make a judgment about a situation because the facts back it up.
That will prevent you from getting yourself and others into adverse situations.
The internet has given us a vast pool of information. However, people are too willing to trust any information they find.
False sense of security
They get a false sense of security by believing that the first set of results on a search engine are the most qualified results.
That just is not the case. Search engine results change rapidly, and you could produce different results from one search to the next on the same search engine.
When searching for your facts, try to find multiple sources that you believe carry authority.
Not the only source
For instance, when you look for medical advice, don’t stop at a site such as WebMD.com and call it quits. While this website may have qualified advice, they aren’t the only source.
See if you can find research to back your findings on the website in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA).
“Prosperity attracts friendship, adversity tests it.” – David Brett-Williams
When you find other websites, look for sources that the articles cite. Are they valid sources? Check to make sure they are from authoritative people.
If you come across a blog that isn’t citing any sources but is making claims that appear to be facts, you should treat this with suspicion.
Anyone can create a blog, and have it published in minutes. They are free to post whatever they like.
Critical of every source
That is why readers must be critical of every source they treat as fact. If a blogger publishes a piece that is purely an opinion piece, there is nothing wrong with this.
But, don’t accept the post as fact. It can be a good starting point for your research.
You will hear people cite Wikipedia.org as a source for their facts. While the resource has gotten better at fact checking, don’t lose sight that anyone can add and make changes to it.
Still, it does have some uses. At the end of most articles, there is a wealth of resources and links that authors often include. Use these for further research.
Successful People Deal with Adversity
Did you know that successful people deal with adversity? It’s true.
If you read the stories or profiles of most successful people, you will be surprised at just how adverse their situations were. They often tell the stories for others to learn and use to overcome adversity.
“Staying calm in the face of adversity, that’s what my mother taught me. It’s an invaluable lesson. There is no shortage of errors and adversity to be dealt with.” – David Brett-Williams
You should read the profiles of successful people. They contain gems of information and can act as a resource for everyone else.
The story is one aspect of reading about them. However, how they dealt with the situations is often a source of inspiration.
Inspiration doesn’t last forever
When you become inspired, you increase your chances of dealing with your problems.
Inspiration doesn’t last forever, unfortunately. You need to reinforce the message.
Make it your goal, to set aside time to read one story of a successful person every month. It will help you with your inspiration, and it will feed ideas on how to use their stories to make your life easier or better.
The stories of some people are dated. However, their techniques may be timeless.
A perfect example of this is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. The stories themselves describe people and occupations of days long gone.
Valid techniques
But, his techniques are as valid today as they were back then.
You can read all about the stories of successful people and get inspired. But, if you don’t take action, it will be of little help to you.
When you do that, you become nothing more than a dreamer. Having dreams is good, but you need to make sure you take action on those dreams.
Reading the stories of successful people shows that they are just like the rest of us. There isn’t anything superhuman about them that led them to their successes.
You will find a strikingly common theme among those facing adversity. They had persistence and kept a positive attitude. Those two attributes will take you far when facing any situation.
Find stories
You can choose to read stories online or find material in your local library. You can also choose to find stories on the internet.
“Adversity is a great education, but this education makes us pay dearly for its instruction,” – David Brett-Williams
As I wrote earlier, you need to be careful of the resources you find online. Anyone can publish whatever they like and sound convincing on their authority.
When you get in the habit of reading material of successful people, you will shift to a successful mindset yourself. You will have a memory bank of stories to draw inspiration.
Life Mentors Can Help You Deal with Adversity
When you discover an excellent life mentor, they can help you with several aspects of your life. They will show you methods to overcome aspects of your life that are holding you back.
And they can also help you when you face adverse situations and can give you the guidance you need to help you pick up the pieces and get back on track.
They may start by teaching you to be positive and use techniques such as affirmations to retrain your brain to think positive thoughts. That is one of the most significant means to deal with adverse situations.
It won’t prevent you from dealing with them, but it will help you focus on what is important. You need to practice these affirmations for them to be effective.
A daily habit
It’s not a casual exercise that you do whenever the mood strikes. Make it a daily habit. Your mentor will know if you are not practising them.
Prepare for your life mentor to be truthful. The truth hurts, but it may be what you need to get past your situation.
“Strong people overcome setbacks because adversity only makes them better.” – David Brett-Williams
When you get caught up in blaming others and not taking responsibility, they will be quick to point this out to you. A good coach will present it in such a way that you will come to the conclusions yourself.
And that makes it easier for you to accept and counter the action.
Take the right steps
When you decide to use a life mentor, don’t blame them if it doesn’t work out. It’s not difficult to find a good mentor if you take the right steps.
Ask friends and family. Do some research, you can call it digging into their history, to learn about their background.
Mentors are going to encourage you to step outside your comfort zone.
Most mentors will use this to help the people they work with break away from bad habits and form new ones. Remember, it is called a comfort zone for a reason.
It will be challenging, and at times, you may get angry at their suggestions. Persevere, and you will get there.
We all face adversity and will continue to as long as we are breathing. Best to buckle up and learn from each episode, so we are better able to deal with the next episode because it is coming.
