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Home / 2018 / October

October 2018

Squeeze More Life Out Of Your Life With A Bucket List

I saw a story about The Superagers’s Dream Bucket List, and I had to read it. The title had a compulsive effect on me. After the age of 50 pieces like that grab your attention. Okay, maybe they always caught my attention.

I read the piece on superagers (Over 55s’ dream bucket list revealed from getting tattoos to hitting Route 66), and it got me thinking.

Where Does Bucket List Come From?

The origin of the word bucket list is quite interesting! Its derived from the phrase “kick the bucket” which pretty much means “to die.”

The link between buckets and death goes back to at least 1785 when the phrase appeared in something called Grose’s Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. Yes, seriously there was a dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue!

Squeeze More Life Out Of Your Life With A Bucket List

“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe

To kick the bucket is an English term, considered a slang term meaning ‘to die’.

Several conflicting theories exist about the origin of the term, yet each has the same conclusion. Death remains an imminent part of the definition and the threat of a life cut short always lurks within its context.

An Imminent Death

The first theory goes back to the middle ages and practices of a public hanging. One would have to stand on a bucket with a noose, and when the bucket is kicked, the person would automatically strangle to death.

The second theory argues that after death, usually holy water is placed in a bucket at the feet of the body. When people came to visit for mourning, they would sprinkle the holy water on the body.

Most people think it is adapted from the movie “The Bucket List” by scriptwriter Justin Zackham.

Squeeze More Life Out Of Your Life With A Bucket List

“Here’s something to remember when you’re older Thomas – never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.” – Edward Cole from the movie Bucket List

So wherever it came from, a bucket list is essentially a list of activities someone wants to do before they die. Or, a list of things a person wants to do before they “kick the bucket.”

What Is A Bucket List?

For our purposes let’s expand our definition of bucket list. Let’s use, a list of all the goals you want to achieve, things you want to try, and life experiences you want to have before you die.

Throw the term “bucket list” out, and the usual suspects spring to mind. Things like dinner at one of the world’s top restaurants, travel experiences, and breathtaking hot-air balloon rides. But it might be time you hit the reset button.

No one is suggesting that these are not amazing things to do before you die. The suggestion is that your bucket list could do with a few more eye-opening and meaningful activities.

It might be time to turn your bucket list into an extraordinary one.

Squeeze More Life Out Of Your Life With A Bucket List

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” – Michael Jordan

Besides, it is experiences and not possessions that will make you the happiest. And that is a notion that even science agrees with.

Why Have A Bucket List?

Whether you want to call it a Bucket List or a “To Experience” list, I think everyone should have one. And here is why:

  • You stop and reflect on what experiences you actually want in your lifetime.
  • Everyone benefits from understanding that life is short and we should strive to live to its fullest.
  • Bucket lists give us both hope and curiosity. And these are two essential ingredients for happiness. So then logically, bucket lists increase our happiness.

If your bucket list needs a major revision or you haven’t written your list yet, take a look at some of these suggestions before you put pen to paper.

The piece I read suggested that this generation of fifty-somethings are plotting dramatic changes during their golden years. Definitely no pipe and slippers-style retirement for them.

Squeeze More Life Out Of Your Life With A Bucket List

“There are two ways to face the future. One way is with apprehension; the other is with anticipation.” – Jim Rohn

I loved the list because it offered a peek into the weird and wonderful plans which many over-55s currently have.

Achieving Goals

A point that warms my heart, over half of those who took part said they were confident they WILL achieve their goals. You have to love optimism, especially in later life.

This shows that retirement isn’t what it used to be. Rather than kicking back and taking it easy, many are looking forward to having more freedom and taking on new projects and hobbies.

And 78% believe having life goals is important. In the demanding world we live in, it is easy to get caught up in the rat race and end up not doing a lot of things we wished for.

Whether it’s helping someone out unconditionally or trekking to a Mount Everest base camp, these experiences give us valuable insights into our own lives.

Overall 81% of the over 2,000 adults over 55 who were polled said they ‘felt younger’ than their actual age. And 82% said they wanted a goal to aim for.

Squeeze More Life Out Of Your Life With A Bucket List

“If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page.” – Mark Houlahan

Only 17% feel their actual age or older. And 32% want to show that, regardless of their age, they can do anything they want.

Over 70% admitted they had a bucket list.

The main issues preventing Brits from enjoying activities on their bucket lists are time or financial issues, along with a feeling they may now be past it or too old.

As voices of experience, about three quarters said they felt it was ‘important’ to have goals and ambition in life.

The Top 30 Life Goals

It’s better to do the things you want to do NOW, then to pile them up on a “someday list”. Having a bucket list is to have a life and utilise it fully before it’s knocked off from under your feet!

Here are the TOP 30 LIFE GOALS , according to the study conducted via OnePoll.com.

  • Travel more
  • Visit Australia
  • Learn a foreign language
  • Retire
  • Drive along Route 66 in America
  • Move abroad
  • Downsize my home
  • Go to more gigs and concerts
  • Pay off the mortgage
  • Eat in a Michelin-star restaurant
  • Volunteer for a charity
  • Buy a sports car
  • Take up painting
  • Learn to play the guitar
  • Learn to swim
  • Get a personal trainer
  • Have liposuction or a tummy tuck
  • Get a degree
  • Climb a mountain
  • Get a six-pack
  • Start dating again
  • Do a skydive
  • Run a marathon
  • Have an affair
  • Get a tattoo
  • Buy a motorbike
  • Get remarried
  • Have my kids move out
  • Get a divorce
  • Try online dating

Now It’s Time For Your Bucket List

Let’s get started with creating your bucket list so you can begin to execute some of the amazing things that you have been desperate to try.

Challenge Accepted: I am so ready to create my bucket list Click To Tweet
Squeeze More Life Out Of Your Life With A Bucket List

“The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.” – Oprah Winfrey

Earlier I mentioned about helping someone out unconditionally. And while we all lead busy lives and complain that we have barely enough time for ourselves, there is more to be gained from being nice to others than not.

In fact, performing random acts of kindness to those around us has a lot of positive side effects. It makes us happier, gives us healthier hearts and it also has a fountain of youth effect.

This feel-good factor triggers a biochemical reaction that elevates levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine in our brains. So we get a natural high that is known as the ‘helper’s high.’

Oxytocin

An amazing physiological response ensues. This emotional warmth produces oxytocin which slows the ageing process.

The reduction in free radicals levels reduces inflammation in the cardiovascular system, slowing ageing.

So why not add random acts of kindness to your bucket list? It feels good, and it’s good for you too.

If you want to live a life packed full of achievement, adventure, fun, and success you need to dream big dreams. And, the first step is to create a bucket list.

Squeeze More Life Out Of Your Life With A Bucket List

“If you are growing, then you are always going to be out of our comfort zone.” – David Brett-Williams

Step 1: Dreamstorm Your Bucket List

Dreamstorming is the first step in creating your bucket list. It is a combination of dreaming and brainstorming.

On a large piece of paper commit all of your ideas to print. And here is the key, you need to remove all limits.

That means allowing your mind to be as free as possible.

This step is all about putting down every single idea that pops into your head. No filters and no labels. Nothing is crazy, or impossible, or silly. You just need to write it down.

When you allow mind to be free, it’s amazing what ideas will come out. Are you ready? Let’s Go!

Step 2: Your Bucket List Teammate(s)

You don’t have to make your entire list with a teammate, but there are advanages to sharing certain items with someone else. There are to having similar items to travel buddies or spouses so you can do things together.

Splitting expenses by finding a partner in crime for the bigger and more costly activities has many advantages.

Step 3: The Bucket List Top Three

Time for you to turn some of those dreams into reality and creating your list can be almost as much fun as completing it.

Some people get overwhelmed looking at their long list and thinking about how they will complete them all. What a great problem to have!

“Good afternoon. My name is Edward Cole. I don’t know what most people say at these occasions because in all honesty, I’ve tried to avoid them. The simplest thing is I loved him and I miss him. Carter and I saw the world together, which is amazing when you think that only three months ago we were complete strangers. I hope that it doesn’t sound selfish of me, but the last months of his life were the best months of mine. He saved my life, and he knew it before I did. I’m deeply proud that this man found it worth his while to know me. In the end, I think it’s safe to say that we brought some joy to one another’s lives, so one day, when I go to some final resting place, if I happen to wake up next to a certain wall with a gate, I hope that Carter’s there to vouch for me and show me the ropes on the other side.” – Carter Chambers from the movie Bucket List

Just pick 3 items from your list to work on the planning. Yeah, only 3 for now. Any more than that and the feelings of overwhelm creep in.

How To Pick Your Top Three

Scanning your list, what excites you the most? Take note of the items that make your heart beat a bit faster.

Got your top three? Now it’s time for the first steps of planning. Ask yourself these questions:

Who: Do you need a partner or are you flying solo?

When: What time of day? When does this need to happen? Great to get specific!

Where: Where are you going and how will you get there?

How: How do you complete this item? How much do you need to save?

What: What is your very first step? What do you need to do to make this happen?

Now get out there and do it.

If you follow this model it will help you complete every single item on your bucket list.

Here are a few items on my bucket list. Maybe it will give you some inspiration for your list.

  • Visit every continent
  • Make my own jewellery
  • Go on an African safari
  • Break a Guiness Book world record
  • Stay in an over-the-water bungalow on a tropical island

Share your first three bucket list items with me right NOW!

  • 30 October, 2018
  • Super Ager
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Learn To Identify And Solve Any Problem

It might be self-evident, but to solve a problem we first need to identify it. And there is no need to compliment me on my mastery of the obvious.

I say that because a lot of us will continue to toil in the midst of a problem but never identify it as a problem. And if we don’t identify it as a problem, we won’t look to solve it.

We all know problems are a pain and a drain on our energy and motivation. So the faster we identify the problem and then choose a plan of action to deal with it the better. That way problems become less of a problem.

Learn To Identify And Solve A Problem

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” – Soren Kierkegaard

It can be helpful to think of a problem as a curve in the road. If you take it right then, you will find yourself in good shape for the straight road that lies ahead. But, if you take it too fast, you might not be in great shape.

Identify The Issues

Start by identifying the issues. You need to be entirely clear about what the problem is. And it is important to remember that different people will have a different viewpoint of what the issues are.

Sometimes we confuse the issues and the interests. And understanding everyone’s interests is a critical step that is usually missing in problem-solving.

Understand Everyone’s Interests

Let’s define interests as the needs that you would like satisfied by your chosen solution. Frequently, we ignore our true interests as we overly focus on one particular solution.

Learn To Identify And Solve A Problem

“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.” – James Baldwin

It isn’t easy to find the right solution. I like to think of the best solution as the one that satisfies the most people’s interests.

All of this may be unfamiliar to you, so don’t worry if it feels uncomfortable at first. This is life, you will encounter many problems, so you will have lots of opportunities to practice!

Related Article

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4 Important Steps to Greater Emotional Agility

Click on the image to download The 7-Easy-Ways-to-Identify-and-Solve-a-Problem PDF

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  • 23 October, 2018
  • Professional Development
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The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

We can learn to take advantage of what makes us happy to achieve a fulfilled life. Does that sound appealing, a fulfilled life?

Great, then let’s get started.

But first, we need to go back to our definition of success.

If you were to ask a ton of people, “What is success?” You would quickly realise that the answer to that question depends on who you ask.

I would be willing to bet that there are as many different definitions as there are people to question.

And with the multitude of differing opinions, the entire issue of success becomes confusing.

Society Dictates

Besides, when there are so many options, then it becomes difficult for anyone to decide for themselves what success means.

Frequently, people let society tell them what success is.

And that might work for some. But others want to make that decision on their own.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success article image 1

“If a man is not to take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves to him, what is he to do, or what is he good for?” – Joseph Lister

The challenge with letting someone else decide on ‘your‘ definition of success is that you significantly decrease the chances that you will end up with a definition of success that works for you.

I don’t know many people that would go out to eat and let a stranger order for them in a restaurant.

The odds dictate that you will end up eating what they like. And in all likelihood, you won’t end up with a meal that suits your tastes.

I know that was an extreme example, but it is because of this that understanding the exact nature of success becomes critical for happiness and fulfilment.

Eat The Dinner You Choose

If you never develop the ability and skill to make your own decision, then you run the risk of ending up eating someone else’s dinner.

And doing it repeatedly.

If we are to eat the dinner, we need to see the items available on the menu. Then we can choose what best suits us.

When you read to the end, you will know the main choices that are on the menu of success.

And another advantage is that most, if not all, of these menu items, can be ordered a’ la carte.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

“Most people don’t like change. They revolt against it unless they can clearly see the advantage it brings. For that reason, when good leaders prepare to take action or make changes, they take people through a process to get them ready for it.” – John C. Maxwell

What that means is you can select only the items that you want.

The advantage is that the definition of success that you choose can be as individualistic as you are.

The Menu

Let’s start by casting our eyes over the main categories on this menu. Then we can get a good idea of how to successfully tailor our own order for success.

Many people have a definition of success centred on objects.

Applying this definition, to be a successful person you must have a number of material possessions.

All of these will demonstrate to the world the measure of that person’s success. And it has to be on show!

Every one of us knows the types of objects at issue here.

If we are honest with one another, then all of us, to one extent or another, feel the influence of this definition of success.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

“The great advantage about telling the truth is that nobody ever believes it.” – Dorothy L. Sayers

What we are talking about are fashionable clothes, expensive electronic devices, large houses, and multiple vehicles.

Because of their collective price tag, these material trappings tell the whole wide world that their owner his rich enough to be able to purchase them.

Material Success

These material trappings may provide comfort to the owner, but they also show the world know his or her social status.

And that is just as important as the comfort they provide.

We call this definition “material success.”

Don’t let me confuse the matter, I see nothing wrong with seeking and gaining material success.

It is a blessing to live in a wonderful world that is chock full of some very amazing items.

For example, I am lost without my phone.

And I will confess to feeling more confident when I have a nice watch on my wrist.

I am hopeful that each of us will be blessed to be able to have the chance to sample some of these material treats.

We have talked about money as a measure of success, but it is also a measure of security.

My Mum told me many times, “Money is the root of all evil.” Thanks Mum, but aside form that, it can provide for the necessities of life.

Not just for you but also for those you love and who depend upon you.

Potent Motivating Force

So it is easy to see why material success becomes an obvious choice for many.

The pull of all that luxury, as well as the financial security, is a potent motivating force to work hard and progress.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

And this pull can become so strong that it blinds people those to other options that might be available.

The challenge is that these additional options are necessary for your complete success.

Without these other options, material success can become a hollow and empty trap that, ironically, in time does not feel the least bit successful or gratifying.

Spiritual Success

A second category on the menu of success is spiritual. It is easy to think of spiritual success as the exact opposite of material success.

With material success, we rely on external and material objects. With spiritual success, we concentrate on internal development.

This in turn often leads to rejecting the majority of material possessions.

Most people would commonly define spiritual success as a “religious” pursuit.

And yes, spirituality is closely defined with organised religions, religious behaviour does not entirely define the entire category of human spirituality.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

“The human brain had a vast memory storage. It made us curious and very creative. Those were the characteristics that gave us an advantage – curiosity, creativity and memory. And that brain did something very special. It invented an idea called the future.” – David Suzuki

It is logical and probable that our first definition of success was materialistic. After all, we developed in a harsh and competitive world.

Hyper-Competitive

Think back to when our distant ancestors eked out their existence.

In this world, resources were limited because so many others species were competing for the same resources.

At first inspection, this might seem cruel. Looking more deeply, we can see it was nature’s way of providing a check and balance system.

Designed to guard against the uncontrolled growth of one species at the expense of the others.

Nature did not have an individuals survival as its goal. For nature, variety was the goal.

In this hyper-competitive world, the individuals who can most successfully stockpile a surplus of resources survived.

Human beings, as rational hunter-gatherers, became adept at not only identifying potential food sources but efficiently exploiting those resources.

We moved beyond mere hunting and gathering into pastoralism and agriculture when we developed this ability to find, exploit and preserve.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

“It is easier for one to take risks and to chase his dreams with a mindset that he has nothing to lose. In this lies the immense passion, the great advantage of avoiding a materialistic, pleasure-filled way of life.” – Criss Jami

We moved eventually into higher social technologies. And with this transition, we became even better competitors in the process.

Nature’s Definition Of Success

As this happened, we brought nature’s definition of success with us.

The economies we created began to reflect the fact that the preferred goal was abundance.

Hence logically, individual success was predicated upon how much resources that individual possessed.

And so, the concept of material success was created.

In this world, a wealthy individual was not only physically better prepared to survive, but they were also perceived by others as being more worthy of survival than someone who was less fortunate.

We then began to interpret material possessions or the lack thereof as indicators of moral standing.

Scarcity

Scarcity existed in the natural world just as it existed in the economic systems we created. And this was the problem.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

“In life, try your best to do the right thing. Have fun while you’re alive. Take advantage of every asset you have. Don’t take anything for granted.” – Justin Chon

In the natural world, no moral judgment is made against an individual who has less. However, the penalty for having less in the wilds of the natural world was not surviving.

And we carried a similar theme in human communities. The penalty for having less was social segregation.

If you had less, you would be segregated into a social class (the have-nots) that was deemed lower and less desirable than those who had more (the haves).

Moral Judgement

Very quickly people realised that this moral judgement had profound effects outside of mere individual survival.

So they focused intently on material possessions and money as the way to happiness and fulfilment.

And so began the rush for individual material survival.

As a consequence of individual material survival, some human values fell by the wayside.

The human values that defined survival in the wild were ignored or became less critical.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

“I am in no mood to be deceived any longer by the crafty devil and false character whose greatest pleasure is to take advantage of everyone.” – Camille Claudel

And these are positive traits such as cooperation, gratefulness, sharing, and social responsibility.

These became liabilities in the new world brought about by modern human economics. The new world of individual competition.

Religion

Human religions reacted to this new world. They focused on what became known as spiritual values to the same degree as economics focused on material values.

In many religions, possessions and material goods became a negative attribute and even a taboo.

Material goods and possessions were seen as a symbol of how spiritually undeveloped an individual was.

And the only way an individual could obtain spiritual success was to reject material culture completely.

As humans we derive protection and natural comfort from possessions. So this benefit was lost.

And the human inclination to gather possessions and material good was ignored.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

“People confuse goodness with weakness. It is weak people, not good people (goodness demands strength), who are taken advantage of.” – Dennis Prager

The coldness and austerity of spiritual success became the equivalent of the arrogance and pomposity of material success.

Common Ground

With no common ground between the two approaches, if a person was looking to achieve success they had to adopt an either/or approach.

Your choice was to choose material success, and with that reject any element of spirituality in the process.

Or spiritual success and with that choice reject the protection and comfort that material possessions bring.

It is obvious that this is not a workable solution. And it is still a situation that persists to the present day.

Even today, people continue to be confused in choosing between material and spiritual success.

And the divide that causes this confusion continues is perpetuated by modern consumer economics and modern religion.

And the sad consequence is that many of us fail at achieving true success because we are forced to adopt a definition of success that is not to our tastes.

We let someone else peruse the menu and order success for us.

A Solution

Before you despair, there is a solution to this dilemma.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

“Sometimes in life, you’re not always given a second chance, but if you do, take advantage of it, and go out with a bang!” – Aquaria

Very rarely are important issues entirely black and white. And as important to individual fulfilment as success is, it too is not entirely black and white.

The difficult choice between material success and spiritual success is largely a result of circumstances and tradition.

And this choice is a false one.

Liberated Success

A third choice exists. And this choice is actually no choice at all. The third option is “liberated success”.

As the name implies, liberated success serves to free the individual from the tyranny of choice between material and spiritual success.

The advantage to liberated success is the empowerment or even re-empowerment of the person with the capability to choose the elements of success that make the most sense to them.

The Best Way To Take Advantage Of How You Define Success

“Successful people jump at opportunity and take advantage of it.” – Sir Mix-a-Lot

This means they pick and choose from the expansive menu of both material and spiritual success to form their own individual hybrid definition of success that can provide them with true happiness.

The Advantage

Being truly yourself in regards to your definition of success is a liberty.

And this provides the advantage that you do not need to be trapped in a lifestyle that promises to be fulfilling yet only delivers misery and unhappiness.

This liberty also means that the person who is happy is more likely to share that happiness with others.

When you take advantage of how you define success and apply a combination of the best elements of material and spiritual success, then you are able to bring about the best of all possible worlds for yourself and everyone involved.

If you liked this then subscribe and I will notify you when Recipe For Success becomes available.

  • 17 October, 2018
  • Personal Development, Professional Development
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How To Free Yourself From Being Unmotivated

Do you ever feel unmotivated? That you aren’t living your life to the fullest? In the hustle and bustle of modern living, it can sometimes feel like an uphill struggle to get on with the things you care about the most.

We live in a society that condemns ‘laziness’, and yet we’re bombarded with technology and products that promise to do everything for us, leading us to feel unfulfilled and unmotivated.

It’s Time To Take Back Control

The most frustrating part of feeling unmotivated is that it is part of a vicious cycle of behaviour. We feel unmotivated, so we don’t get things done.

And then we feel bad about not getting things done, so we label ourselves as a failure. Which leads us right back to feeling unmotivated and aimless.

To break out of this unhappy cycle, you need to change the mindset that got you there in the first place. All change, big and small, begins in mind.

Heartbeat

“My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn’t have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don’t be afraid to fail.” – Sara Blakely

If your mindset is negative, then you’re already setting yourself up for failure. You are setting yourself up to be unmotivated.

You have the potential to live an outstanding life, but first thing’s first: we need to get you in the right headspace.

Perhaps you’re struggling with menial day-to-day tasks, or you can’t kick yourself into gear in your professional life. Or you can’t seem to get started on that personal project you’ve been thinking about.

All areas of life can be negatively affected by an unproductive mindset. When you change your mindset, remove the mental block, then you’ll start noticing big changes.

Here is a guide to kickstart your brain into a happier, more productive mode so you can stop putting it off, stop being unmotivated and start living your best life today.

Find Your Passion

The first step towards adjusting your mindset is to find your passion. There is no point trying to trick yourself into caring. If you’re not interested, your brain will struggle to stay motivated.

Find your focus and motivation will follow.

Heartbeat

“We need to make sure we’re all working together to change mindsets, to change attitudes, and to fight against the bad habits that we have as a society.” – Justin Trudeau

This might sound obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people spend their lives trying to force themselves into a productive mindset without ever considering whether the end goal is something they care about. And they stay unmotivated.

When we say ‘passion’, we don’t mean that everyone must have an underlying all-consuming desire to save turtles in Costa Rica. Although if you do, good on you but remember the sunscreen!

But everyone has things they care about. And it’s a great place to start when you’re feeling down and unmotivated. Dedicate some time to quietly sitting down with a pen and paper, and working out what makes you tick.

The Importance of Pleasure Sources

We are not born with an innate, singular passion. There are probably many, many things that could potentially be your passion, and these will change and evolve over time.

How To Free Yourself From Being Unmotivated

“The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change.” – Edwin H Friedman

The first step for discovering your passion, and thereby change your mindset, is to re-route your pleasure sources. By this, we are referring to dopamine.

This is the chemical in the brain, called a neurotransmitter, that produces feelings of pleasure when it is released.

Today, it’s easy to get a dopamine fix while being in a relatively passive state. We can watch TV on demand, browse the internet for hours, drink, smoke and eat readymade food that takes just minutes to prepare.

What do all these sources of pleasure have in common? They require no action on our part.

We are not putting any work into creating something, but we are receiving the pleasure sensation anyway. The brain feels like it has received a reward without having to put in any effort to feel that pleasure.

Still Unmotivated?

Sadly, and maybe surprisingly, this is the basis of addiction, not passion.

If you reduce your consumption of these pleasure sources, your brain will be forced to find dopamine elsewhere.

By limiting the amount of TV, internet, junk food, alcohol or drug consumption, you will start to notice other things that please you. And so you’ll be on track to discovering what you’re genuinely passionate about.

Unmotivated

“My greatest challenge has been to change the mindset of people. Mindsets play strange tricks on us. We see things the way our minds have instructed our eyes to see.” – Muhammad Yunus

The next step is merely to try out lots of different things. Compile a list of hobbies that seem even remotely interesting to you, and give them a go.

Photography, dance, gardening, cooking, walking, playing sport and drawing are all hobbies with lots of branches leading off into different directions. So why not give one of them a go?

If it turns out you’re not that interested, move on to something else. These are all creative ways to help you find your passion, which will stimulate the dopamine that your brain needs to stay focused and motivated.

Once you’ve reduced the amount of dopamine you receive from passive consumption and start embracing more creative outlets, whatever they may be, your mindset will automatically shift into a more positive and productive gear.

And other areas in your life will start to benefit from the effects.

Change Negative Habits

We’re not born with an unproductive mindset, so what is at the root of this self-limiting way of thinking?

The answer is simple, although not always easy to hear: negative habits. We’re not talking here about the surface habits you might have picked up over time.

Things like nail-biting, swearing or dependence on addictive substances. Although you can apply the following advice to these habits, too.

How To Free Yourself From Being Unmotivated

“Man is by nature restless. When left too long in one place he will inevitably grow bored, unmotivated, and unproductive.” – Ricardo Semler

No, we are talking about the negative thought patterns that have been visited so often that they have become habits. Habitual negative thinking is at the core of all your unproductive behaviour. And, just like any habit, it can be broken.

If you’re serious about getting rid of your unproductive mindset, you need to be completely honest with yourself about the negative thoughts that have got you to this point.

Habitually negative thoughts can lead to a negative perception of self, and a misguided sense of purpose or lack thereof. A life purpose or passion has the power to boost your productivity and direction, but to do that, you must start small.

To break out of old ways of thinking that are holding you back, follow these four steps.

Distance Yourself from Your Thoughts

Negative thoughts limit your capacity to grow, change and achieve the life you deserve. If you force yourself to stand witness to your negative thoughts and separate yourself and your potential from them, you are already on the way to getting rid of them.

Be Honest With Yourself

Look at the thoughts that you have just written down. This will enable you to compartmentalise and see that these are just thoughts. They are not you.

How To Free Yourself From Being Unmotivated

“If your mind is anything like mine, it can stumble through a half-dozen different thoughts in a heartbeat.” – Anthony Doerr

You might find it helpful to write down all the thoughts and feelings you have about yourself. You may well discover that you have been holding on to negative thoughts about yourself for a long time.

Being conscious of the fact that you are not your thoughts is a crucial step on the path to self-discovery and becoming more productive.

Discard Thoughts That Aren’t Helpful

Once you’ve compartmentalised these negative thoughts, it’s time to pick and choose which ones you want to act on. If a thought isn’t positively serving you, you can choose to ignore it.

This is simple, but not easy, and takes time and practice to get right. But merely becoming aware of the negative thoughts in the first place is a great starting point.

Be Kind To Yourself

All our behaviour stems from our sense of self and self-worth. And with a low sense of self-worth comes a negative and unproductive mindset.

And this, in turn, leads to behaviour that doesn’t serve your best interests. Stop judging yourself or feeling bad for having the thoughts you do.

How To Free Yourself From Being Unmotivated

“My greatest challenge has been to change the mindset of people. Mindsets play strange tricks on us. We see things the way our minds have instructed our eyes to see.” – Muhammad Yunus

Instead, try to treat yourself with the compassion and understanding you would have for a friend or loved one. This will put you in a commanding position for dealing with a negative mindset, and put you on the right track for a happier and healthier life.

Practise Self Love

Often, we condemn ourselves for being lazy or unproductive. Regardless of whether it’s true or not, this attitude will get you nowhere for actually changing your behaviour.

You can be hard on yourself for your perceived shortcomings, or you can practise self-love.

And we don’t mean the kind of self-love you might have heard of. I am not referring to looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself how beautiful you are.

No, I am talking about the art of giving yourself a break.

Once you start practising self-love, you will start to notice your mindset will relax and you will become freer to get out and DO, rather than floundering in a state of unproductive limbo.

Here are five outstanding tips for how to best practise self-love and regain control of your mindset:

Manage Your Expectations

A vital part of self-love is to manage your expectations and not to set yourself unrealistically high standards. Expecting too much of yourself will only set you on the path to disappointment.

And this fuels the negative image of yourself that you already have in your mind.
There is no such thing as perfect. Instead of being hard on yourself, learn to accept your natural imperfection. You’ll feel more relaxed and able to get on with things.

Stop Multitasking

Avoid doing too much at once. Yes, multitasking is lauded as a valuable skill.

But doing lots of things at the same time means that nothing will have your full attention so that nothing can get done properly. Take your time, start small and dedicate your mind to one task at a time.

Trust Yourself

To start acting, and stop thinking, you need to believe in yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else in the world. And you alone have the power to break out of unhelpful ways of thinking.

How To Free Yourself From Being Unmotivated

“You don’t get better on the days when you feel like going. You get better on the days when you don’t want to go, but you go anyway. If you can overcome the negative energy coming from your tired body or unmotivated mind, you will grow and become better.” – Georges St-Pierre

You need to forgive yourself for past mistakes and be completely honest with yourself about where you’ve gone wrong and where you want to be. Once you trust yourself, positivity and productivity will follow.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

True confidence begins when you stop caring what others think of you. Or, more accurately, what you perceive others think of you.

Stop looking for external validation. You are the only validation you need, and you are the only one who has the right to judge yourself.

Make Time for Yourself

In the hectic world, we live in; our happiness can take a back seat to seemingly more pressing matters. But your finances, career, social life and personal projects will all suffer if you don’t take a moment to relax and enjoy your own company.

Don’t ever feel bad about giving yourself a break to recharge and recentre. Take a bath, go for a walk, eat some of your favourite food.

Allowing yourself to relax and unwind will increase your sense of self-worth and help build a stronger, more productive mindset in your day-to-day life.

It is incredible that all your potential and capacity for happiness can be traced back to one simple thing: your mindset. This knowledge is both exciting and daunting. You and only you can change your life.

I hope you find these tips for freeing yourself from being unmotivated as a positive step in the right direction. Start small, stay positive and start living the outstanding life you deserve today.

  • 10 October, 2018
  • Professional Development
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9 Easy Ways to Counter Negative Self-Talk

When you free yourself of negative self-talk, you will free yourself from perfectionism. You will honour and accept the mistakes you make.

Don’t kid yourself, self-sabotage is an actual thing.

We make a mistake, reflect on it, and then feel guilty, and unintentionally dig ourselves into a deeper and darker hole.

And many of us repeat this cycle far too often.

And that negative side of our thinking doesn’t help.

Even if you hear that critical inner voice saying “you deserved that” the real answer is, “No! You didn’t.”

We should all be empowered, fearless and happy when working towards our dreams.

Effects of Negative Self-Talk

Effects of Negative Self-Talk

Obviously, there is the low self-esteem that comes from negative self-talk. But there are also detrimental physical effects linked to self-criticism.

The world of personal development is filled with teachers who claim that self-critical thoughts are not confined to the mind.

In fact, their effect permeates every cell in our body, and this wreaks havoc on our physiology.

And they are 100% correct. There is now a body of research showing that adverse psychological events raise cortisol levels.

High cortisol levels are associated with anxiety, depression and irritability.

Low immune function, raised blood glucose levels, elevated blood pressure, weight gain, fatigue and muscle weakness are also found to occur in people with high cortisol levels.

This is serious because persisting with daily negative self-talk forces the body to live in fight-or-flight mode.

And this inhibits nearly every natural function.

Causes of Negative Self-Talk

Causes of Negative Self-Talk

Many people feel that negative self-talk just happens.

However, it is something that you actively do. It is an activity your brain generates automatically. And it becomes a habit.

Think of it as an autopilot response.

Following years of being criticised by a sibling, parent, or another significant figure the habit of negative self-talk is adopted.

For many, this happens as early as childhood.

Psychology has a phenomenon known as an introject. These are internal representations of the people who raised us.

If a child has a critical parent, they begin to internalise that parent.

The end result is the child carries around a self-critical inner voice that behaves exactly the same way the parent does.

That critical parent becomes a part that child.

How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk

Overcoming negative self-talk is straightforward. However, two things are required to happen:

1) Heal the underlying reasons for the self-criticism.

To overcome negative self-talk you need to integrate the introject in a healthy, compassionate way.

When the underlying issues have been resolved, the critical parent naturally fades.

The issues to deal with may have to do with anger, forgiveness, individuation, and learning to dismiss the assessment of others who have an agenda and to trust your own self-assessment more.

2) Develop a strategy to shift out of autopilot.

When you heal the underlying reasons for criticising yourself, you get left with the habit.

And as you already know, some habits can be tough to break.

Solutions for Negative self-talk

Here are three ideas that may help.

Most people seek to resist their inner critic. And get caught in a vicious cycle.

They begin to criticise themselves for continuing to be self-critical.

You need to let that go and stop fighting.

The healing process we mentioned earlier starts with greater self-awareness and consciousness.

In summary, just listen. Don’t fight back or resist. Hear yourself out.

And don’t judge. Be patient and listen to that critical inner voice for what it is.

When you do, it loses much of its power.

Say to yourself, “I have a critical inner voice that is saying…” Then you get to repeat what your inner critic said.

Don’t judge, just listen, and repeat.

Prepare to be amazed at the objectivity this simple technique provides you.

Time to turn the tables entirely on your inner critic and ask for more feedback. Yes, more criticism.

And when you get more just do what we suggested earlier.

Listen, repeat and then ask for even more feedback.

The concept centres on raising your conscious awareness of what is actually going on inside your own head.

When you gain conscious awareness, then you can begin to control it and avoid going into autopilot mode.

When your inner critic no longer controls your thought processes, then it is time to move on.

Turn your attention to something outside of your own thinking.

Focus on how the temperature of the air feels.

Or how the weight of your body feels as you walk or sit in a chair.

Embrace the sounds around you by being quiet and extend your hearing as far as you can.

Doing activities like this is inherently calming and helps you embrace greater mindfulness.

Related Article

How To Build Resilience – Boost Your Competitive Advantage

4 Important Steps to Greater Emotional Agility (Infographic)

Click on the image to download The 9 Easy Ways to Counter Negative Self-Talk PDF

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  • 2 October, 2018
  • Personal Development, Professional Development
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