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    • About David
    • Start here
    • Contact David
  • Podcast
  • Blog
  • Resources
    • Boost Your Strengths
    • Boosting Your Resilience
  • Work With David
    • keynote speaker
    • Motivational Speaker
  • Shop
    • Mentoring
    • Online seminar
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Home / 2017 / December

December 2017

Childhood Obesity: What You Need To Know Now

Childhood obesity is best tackled at home through improved parental involvement, increased physical exercise, better diet and restraint from eating.

Growing up there always seemed to be one child that was singled out and teased about their weight.

I was never overweight, but I knew that I never wanted to be the one that got singled out. The thought of that teasing terrified me.

I tried to do every sport I could, spurred on by my Father’s reminder of ‘keep active’!

If I reflect back on it, he was probably more vocal whenever I looked a little tubby!

I had always been ‘thicker set’ than my siblings (my Mum would describe me as big-boned). Especially when compared to my older sister who could have easily slipped down between the grates of a drain!

I was always a little more round at the edges. And I think that made me more determined to make sure that my children were not overweight.

Childhood Obesity time to get active

“Promoting healthy lifestyles and encouraging fitness are so important for our children’s development and reducing the nation’s epidemic of childhood obesity.” – Marcia Fudge

They are all now in their 20’s, and I am pleased that they do a great job of looking after themselves. But when they were younger I thought it was down to me to ensure that they eat well and stay healthy.

At birthday parties when junk food was everywhere, other parents teased me that, “Your children’s bodies are your temple.”

My children would bypass junk food and happily eat more than their ‘five-a-day’ of fruits and vegetables. Their Achilles heal was water, I had to encourage them to ensure they drank enough water. Curious about how much water should you drink?

I would find it tough to tell them that they can’t have that piece of food that they want ‘right now’. “But Dad I want…..” I would remind myself, it’s for their own good.

A ticking time bomb

The ticking time bomb of childhood obesity has continued to grow. So much so that the World Health Organisation (WHO) and every major government are working to reverse the trend and reduce the health risks to our children.

Over 10% of children in Reception, and over 20% of children in Year 6 measure as obese or overweight according to UK government figures. Click To Tweet

Statistics also underlined the stark class divide in childhood obesity.

NHS figures show that childhood obesity prevalence for children in reception living in the most deprived areas (12.5%) was more than double that of those living in the least deprived areas (5.5%).

In year six, 26% of children living in the most deprived areas were obese compared with 11.7% in the least deprived areas.

More than twice as many children from deprived areas suffer with childhood obesity.

When we are children and growing up, we become aware that it is wrong to be intolerant of people’s weight as well their skin colour or disability.

And this may cause a parenting challenge. As parents are we overly tolerant to the point of being complacent about our children’s weight? Do we place our child’s immediate happiness over their long-term health?

Whose problem is it?

As parents, we try to enrich our children’s lives with a host of experiences. Possibly too much as they get bombarded with so many influences.

They play sports, join theatre groups and participate in after-school clubs. More than we ever did at their age.

They get influenced by teachers, coaches, leaders and even celebrities but most of all they are influenced by us, their parents.

Here is an old saying “it takes a village to raise a child”, and this makes us all responsible for their welfare.

Childhood Obesity water

“Fixing obesity is going to require a change in our modern relationship with food. I’m hopeful that we begin to see a turnaround in this childhood obesity epidemic.” – S. Jay Olshansky

As a parent, I feel it is my role to ensure my child is healthy and educated in taking care of their own body. That they grow up with positive self-esteem and know how to make the right decisions for them.

As the most influential people in our children’s lives, we should take responsibility to love, nurture and guide them, even when it makes us look strict or severe.

Some parents equate food with love and feel saying no isn’t an option.

Stop, you have had enough

But inevitably good parenting means we should be strong enough to say stop, you’ve had enough.

Allowing a child to overeat on a regular basis is harming them in the long term. No amount of love can undo the damage we can do by allowing bad habits to set in at a young age.

Some parents are more willing to complain to school if their child is bullied about their weight than to guide a child toward good eating habits.

This transfers the problem from their door to someone else’s.

Don’t mistake my intention. In no way am I advocating bullying or suggesting that schools should not safeguard children. I am suggesting that as parents we are ultimately the ones accountable for our child’s welfare.

And if it becomes a problem for our children, then it becomes our problem too.

The contributing factors in childhood obesity

The causes of excess weight gain in children are the same for adults too. This includes factors such as genetics and a person’s behaviour.

Behaviours that contribute to weight gain include sedentary activities such as watching television or other screen devices, not getting enough physical activity, sleep routines and eating high-calorie, low-nutrient foods and beverages. It has even been suggested that a ‘class divide’ could be a contributing factor.

Genetics

Although there has never been a ‘fat gene’ isolated, there are many suggestions and studies to show that some of us have genes present that are more likely to make us crave carbohydrates.

Okay, my parental gift to my children is that they crave carbohydrates more than other children. Better accept that they will be overweight right now. Wait a second, there are plenty of other factors that can be influenced.

Food choices

The word diet frightens adult, let alone children. So let’s concentrate on ‘good food choices’ instead to avoid childhood obesity.

Encourage your child to make good food choices. If you work on the 80/20 rule, you shouldn’t go far wrong.

We take 80% of our calories from healthy food and 20% from foods we consider treats. Click To Tweet

The easiest way to quantify this is probably to use calories. For example, if a child is allowed 1200 calories: 80% or 960 calories should be made up of fruit, vegetables, lean meat, grains etc. and 240 calories can be from snacks and drinks that are not milk or water.

Not surprisingly, 240 calories will not go far in sugary snacks.

Drinking plenty of water is also an easy way to ensure that we eat less and that we don’t turn to sugar-loaded soft drinks.

Child Obesity Sugary Drinks

“If the childhood obesity epidemic remains unchecked, it will condemn many of our kids to shorter lives, as well as the emotional and financial burdens of poor health.” – Richard Carmona

Sugary drinks are often a silent contributor, with many obese people not seeing them as a problem. People usually don’t remember what they’ve had to drink or wouldn’t consider adding up calories gained from drinks.

Just 2 cans of Coke contain 278 calories. For a child, this could take them way over the 20% when using the 80/20 rule, and we haven’t even started adding the food treats!

Supermarkets don’t help us make good food choices

Supermarkets make end caps (the ends of the aisles) very attractive by putting sale and promotional items on them.

Have you ever noticed that these usually contain junk food which contributes to childhood obesity? Chocolates, crisps and biscuits can often be found here and are quickly thrown in a trolley.

Physical activity

Whose responsibility is it that a child’s exercises? Sometimes it can be hard to squeeze this into a day, but really there are only 2 days a week that most parents are entirely responsible for their child’s exercise. School takes care of it the other 5 days.

A simple walk into town or to visit a friend can be a sufficient activity.

As parents, we could shift the focus away from exercise and look to limit sedentary activity. But how many of us think of this let alone actually do it?

I’m stunned when I read newspaper reports that ‘the average five-year-old spends over three hours each day on a tablet’ or that a ‘girl aged four is having physiatric treatment for her iPad addiction.’

Childhood Obesity Exercise

“In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent.” – Darell Hammond

One has to ask where is the parental input. What happened to riding a bike? Or climbing a tree? Or walking to the shops? Maybe life has become so busy that we forget to take care of our children as well as ourselves?

It is not just the children, many adults could do with increasing physical activity. And if the children joined in, this would take care of the children’s activity levels too.

Lack of sleep

Sleep deprivation increases energy intake by increasing hunger. Being tired alters hormone levels and increases appetite and hunger, especially for food rich in fat and carbohydrates.

Sleeping less also leaves more time to eat. Often when the body is tired and naturally has low energy levels.

Snacks are a short-term and unhealthy way to gain the energy required.

Decreasing physical activity

Tired people don’t have the energy to exercise as much as those who get sufficient sleep.

Sleep deprived children can be more likely to sit and watch television or use a tablet than go for a bike ride or walk.

Sleep deprivation can also make children extraordinarily grumpy, and a grumpy child is never fun to deal with!

Could a class divide be contributing factor in childhood obesity?

Remembering the statistics mentioned earlier, there is a strong suggestion that a class divide could be affecting the prevalence of childhood obesity. There is a higher incidence of obesity in deprived areas.

Fruit and vegetables are often more expensive than less healthy alternatives. A family on a strict budget or one that is struggling financially will fall foul to this price differential.

Poor financial standing can also contribute to the number of extra circular activities a child takes part in. However, this does not mean that children in deprived areas are or need be less active.

Could these factors be adding to the growing number of obese children?

Leading by example

As we know, the suggestion that genetics and certainly behaviour can contribute to obesity. Children are not responsible for their genes, and they look to us to set good examples of behaviour.

There are a host of behaviours that affect childhood obesity, and it’s down to us to look at ourselves to see what behaviours we need to change so that we can influence their choices. It’s not easy, and if you need help getting back on track with a healthy diet this will help.

So, what can we do?

Start with simple things to help your whole family eat more healthily.

Increase the amount of fruit and vegetables. If they don’t eat any just start with one or two a day. Five portions of fruit and veg a day isn’t a tough target, once you are on your way.

Childhood Obesity Cooking

“Kids see cooking as a creative outlet now, like soccer and ballet. It gives me hope that things like fast food, childhood obesity and the horrible state of school lunches can be addressed by kids and their parents.” -Graham Elliot

Cut down on fatty, salty and sugary foods.

Cut out sugary drinks. This is an easy way to save calories.

Try to eat more chicken and fish and reduce red and processed meat.

Serve smaller portions to children than adults.

If your child loves food, then they could be interested in cooking with you. Let them, try cooking together.

If you can, sit down to eat as a family as often as you can. It is also beneficial to involve children in planning and preparing meals.

You can set a good example, and they can learn about healthy eating.

Don’t watch TV when you eat

When we eat, our priority should be enjoying our food! It can also a great time to catch up with one another and talk to the children about their day.

Use coloured plates. An American study has shown that using a plate of a different colour to the food you are eating can help reduce the amount that is put on the plate.

This is true when serving ourselves so let your child control their own portions with some guidance. Let good habits start now.

Ensure your child gets enough sleep. They will be healthier and happier for it, and you may get some well-deserved quiet time!

These simple changes will not only ensure healthier children but healthier adults.

After all, we want to increase our chances of being around to watch our children grow up.

So, what is the most important contributing factor?

The answer is that there is no single factor that is more important than the others or more responsible for the increase that has been seen regarding childhood obesity.

There are so many variables that can affect a child’s weight that we must consider them all.

The most important thing to remember is that small changes can help a child to become healthier.

Children are different shapes and sizes. Boys are different to girls and children grow and develop at varying rates.

This can make it hard to know where our child fits on the weight scale but if you have any concerns, see your GP.

At the end of the day, our children depend on us to be responsible for them and prevent childhood obesity.

  • 18 December, 2017
  • Personal Development
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Learn The Secret Habits Of Highly Effective People

Every single one of us wants to succeed. And every single one of us has habits.

Some of our habits will help us and others will hurt us on our path to success. Would it help to identify the habits that will help us on the path to success?

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, in my opinion, is a masterful piece of work. And I recommend you read the entire book.

Feel you don’t have the time to read all 432 pages of this bestseller?

I understand. A lot of us don’t. That is why I have summarised the book for you.

Dr Steven Covey didn’t invent the habits, he observed them through reading success literature over centuries and brought them together into a sequential flow of 7 habits that helps us become more effective in our lives by living them.

The book opens with an exciting premise. Covey believes our perceptions dictate the way we see the world.

Playing this out, if we want to change any given situation, we must first change ourselves. And if we’re going to change ourselves, we must change our perceptions first.

These days, people want shortcuts to success. We all ask, “How do you do it?” We hope to save time and effort and still achieve our desired outcome.

Habits to create excellence

“The key to valuing differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.” – Stephen Covey

But these shortcuts we seek only provide short-term solutions. The drawback is that they don’t address the underlying condition.

Covey writes, “The way we see the problem is the problem.” He suggests that we must change ourselves on a deeper level, called paradigm shifts, to achieve true change.

And that’s where the seven habits of highly effective people come in.

What habits do highly effective people have?

  • Be Proactive
  • Begin with the End in Mind
  • Put First Things First
  • Think Win-Win
  • Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
  • Synergize
  • Sharpen the Saw

When I read this book years ago, the massive benefit to me happened from the first habit. It changed my thinking on mindset forever.

Habit 1: Be Proactive

We all have a fundamental choice, we can choose to be reactive or proactive. Covey stresses this is true whatever situation we find ourselves in.

The central premise is that by choosing to be proactive, you are choosing to increase your circle of influence.

Increasing our awareness and our freedom to choose aligns us with the principle that each of us has that freedom.

It is our job to change our situation, create the opportunity, then live proactively and responsively in the opportunity we are proactively creating.

It all hinges on your level of control. There are things that you can control in life. And there are things you can’t directly control. These include things such as the weather, your place of birth or decisions made by your company.

One of the most important things that

you can control is how you react.

How you react to events and situations may be the only thing you can truly control in your life.

When you become upset when the weather is gloomy, you are being a reactive person. You are letting the environment control you. You are simply reacting to external stimuli.

When you are reactive, your focus is on things that you cannot control.

Learn The Secret Habits Of Highly Effective People

“Without doubt, you have to leave the comfort zone of base camp and confront an entirely new and unknown wilderness.” -Stephen Covey

Covey stresses the secret to being proactive is to focus on what you can control. And this, in turn, increases your personal effectiveness.

You bring more power into your life by making a choice to focus on the things that you can control. And this widens your circle of influence.

In my view, the single most proactive thing that anyone can do is increase his or her own proactivity.

How do we do this? By practising habits of awareness, healthy conscience, imagination, and independent will.

Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind

We can achieve our goals.

Awareness is crucial to goal achievement. And the central premise here is that it is easier to achieve our goals if we are aware of what we truly want.

People frequently have conflicting desires. What I wanted yesterday is sidelined by the new thought I have today.

If we can synchronise and unify the functions of our mind, we achieve inner synergy.

Thus, when we develop a vision of what we truly want, we lead from the right side of our brain. This is the more artistic and creative side of the brain. And we allow our lives to be guided by our inner intuition and sense of rightness.

Then we manage from the left side of our brain. This is the more academic and logical side of the brain. And allows us to rationally lay out a schedule of activities that will shape our character and achieve our goals.

Covey uses the terms right and left to refer to two different human capacities: Creative experiential living and rational, committed planning and action.

Habit 3: Put First Things First

Several principles come into play in putting first things first, where we turn our long-term goals into a weekly schedule, week after week.

The first principle is that the priorities in our mind create the priorities in our lives.

The second is that work fills the time allotted.

The third is that success comes through first planning, and then carrying out the plan.

The fourth is that unexpected things happen.

The first step of the solution is to set a weekly goal towards our long-term goals. Then we make a schedule where we put what matters most first in our minds and, as much as we can, first each day.

Then we live that schedule and rearrange as needed when unexpected things happen.

Doing this for 52 weeks, we achieve our goals for the year. Doing this year after year, we create our destiny.

Habit 4: Think win-win; win-win or no deal

The underlying principle is that only what is beneficial for everyone involved is beneficial for each one of us.

There is no real case of “I win; you lose.”

Even in competitive sports, the real benefits come from participating more than from winning, so, when competitive sports are done in a healthy way, everyone wins.

Understanding this is challenging because each of us carries a very deep paradigm of competitiveness.

Some feel they must win; others that they must lose. To achieve win-win, we take responsibility for our own individual adaptation of the competitive mentality of our society, and we seek something better.

We seek relationships where everyone benefits. We even come to a place where we engage only in such relationships. That’s called win-win or no deal.

Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then be understood

Principles behind seek first to understand include:

Humility. Let us not rush ahead thinking we understand when, in all likelihood, we do not understand deeply enough.

Easing of anxiety and fear. Everyone lives with some anxiety and fear, often a lot of it. The principle here is that people listen better when we feel safe, and we feel safe when we know we are heard.

Learn The Secret Habits Of Highly Effective People

“The more we see people in terms of their unseen potential, the more we can use our imagination rather than our memory.” – Stephen Covey

Speak within another person’s language and way of thinking so they can work with what they hear. This post will help you speak their language.

Putting these together, we listen first. We understand first. We ensure the other person feels safe and feels understood. Then we ask permission to share our view.

Once we do this, we have their attention, and genuine communication is possible.

Habit 6: Synergize

This habit is tough to write about. The underlying spiritual principle is harmony.

Related Post: Easy Ways To Make A Big Change In Your Life 

When each person is in harmony with himself or herself, and true to himself or herself, and we share common goals and are responsive to one another, unexpected and wonderful results arise.

Habit 7: Sharpen the saw

All people, all living systems, are always changing. We need renewal. And this habit is about self-care and self-improvement.

Healthy habits create a healthy body and mind.

Related Post: How To Become The Best Version Of You in 2018

We are creative and self-creative. If we are not being creative, we get sick or get tangled in unhealthy habits of time-wasting and even addiction.

Thus it is necessary to develop and maintain healthy habits of body, emotions, mind, energy, creative soul, and spirit.

Hope you found this summary of Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People useful. Choosing to perform the right actions will make them habits and further us on our path to success.

If you are looking for some inspiration, this may help: How To Find Inspiration With Four Simple Thoughts.

  • 14 December, 2017
  • Professional Development
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Get Wise: Make Better Decisions in 15 Minutes

Am I the only person that has made bad decisions? There are mistakes in the fullness of time that I have come to regret. And there are some that I have come to regret terribly and immediately.

I am not alone.

We have all made regretful decisions.

Some of us, I might be referring to myself here, have repeated the same mistake over and over and over again.

Never seem to learn from it.

This poem from Portia Nelson sums it up pretty well so it can’t just be me who repeats the same mistake.

“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost, I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it and I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”

Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery

Having fallen into the same hole more times than I care to remember I decided to learn how wise people make decisions so I could stop making bad ones.

On the surface, this sounds easy. But if I asked you to assess how wise a person was what qualities would you consider?

A lot of people would suggest intelligence.

Does greater intelligence make you wise?

I used to think that intelligence and wisdom went hand in hand.

It just seemed that it should.

People with IQ’s so high that you are afraid to speak for fear of sounding dumb in front of them should also be wise.

Come on, if they can explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity in minute detail – putting you to sleep in the process – then they should be able to come up with great suggestions when you ask them how to help a mutual friend that is struggling.

But a wisdom question, like that, baffles them.

My definition of wise changed. Now I think of wisdom as something that’s hard to define yet somehow I know it when I see it.

Get Wise: Make Better Decisions in 15 Minutes

“Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

Is it possible that we can get wise? Or at least wiser? Studies show that wisdom can be cultivated.

And there are potentially massive pay-offs if we get wise. Wise people are better able to deal with challenges, such as declining health and the loss of loved ones. This results in wise people enjoying greater well-being as they age.

So what is wisdom? It is the ability to make sound judgments and choices based on experience.

Every great philosophical and religious tradition, from Aristotle to Confucius and Christianity to Judaism, Islam to Buddhism, and Taoism to Hinduism considers wisdom to be a virtue. Click To Tweet

I don’t need any more convincing that I need to get wise.

What does it take to develop wisdom?

I used my science geek skills to look at a study by psychologists Paul Baltes and Ursula Staudinger.

They asked a group of leading journalists to nominate public figures who they felt showed wisdom.

This group was narrowed down to a smaller group of people who were widely viewed as possessing wisdom.

This was a group of accomplished civic leaders, theologians, scientists, and cultural icons.

These wise people got compared to a control group of professionals who were successful but not nominated as wise (these included lawyers, doctors, teachers, scientists, and managers).

Related Post: How To Find Inspiration With Four Simple Thoughts

Both groups answered questions that gave them a chance to demonstrate their wisdom.

For example, what advice would they give to a widowed mother facing a choice between shutting down her business and supporting her son and grandchildren?

How would they respond to a call from a severely depressed friend?

A panel of experts evaluated their answers, and the results reveal six insights about what differentiates the wise people from the rest of us.

Does age make you wiser?

Afraid not! The people with the highest wisdom scores are just as likely to be 30 as 60.

It turns out that the number of life experiences has little to do with the quality of those experiences.

According to the data, between ages 25 to 75, the correlation between age and wisdom is zero. So, age and wisdom are independent of each other.

Further research shows that intelligence only accounts for about 2% of the variance in wisdom. In other words, people with high IQ’s who are great at processing complex information may struggle to find a sensible solution to a problem.

Get Wise: Make Better Decisions in 15 Minutes

“A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim.” – Maya Angelou

Cultivating wisdom is a deliberate choice that people can make regardless of age and intelligence.

Action Point: To get wiser take time to reflect on the lessons you gained from each experience.

Sit by yourself for a few minutes and review all information you have in light of the outcome you got.

What information did you focus on? And what information, in hindsight, should you have focused on?

Follow this action point and the next four to learn how to get wiser.

How do you see the world?

Imagine meeting a 15-year-old girl who plans to get married next week. What would you tell her?

Here’s a response that scored low in wisdom: “A 15-year-old girl wants to get married? No, no way, marrying at age 15 would be utterly wrong. One has to tell the girl that marriage is not possible. It would be irresponsible to support such an idea. No, this is just a crazy idea.”

You may find Five Ways To Be Successful By The Founder Of McDonalds helpful too.

In contrast, wise people embraced nuance and multiple perspectives.

 

Consider one answer that received high marks for wisdom: “Well, on the surface, this seems like an easy problem. On average, marriage for 15-year-old girls is not a good thing. But there are situations where the average case does not fit.

There is a chance that special life circumstances are involved. For example, the girl may have a terminal illness or has just lost her parents.

And also, the girl may live in another culture or historical period. Perhaps she was raised with a value system different from ours. Also, one has to think about adequate ways of talking with the girl and to consider her emotional state.”

Wise people specialise in what experts call integrative thinking – “the capacity to hold two diametrically opposing ideas in their heads”- and reconcile them for the situation at hand.

To get wiser look at the world as not just black and white but as many shades of grey. Click To Tweet

Action Point: Before making a decision, ask yourself what the special circumstances that I am missing on first glance are?

Do others have to lose for me to win?

If all I focus on and pursue are my gains, the only way that they will be achieved is at the expense of others.

This ends up destroying relationships and reputations.

As psychologist Robert Sternberg puts it: “wisdom and egocentricity are incompatible…people who have gotten where they are by not taking other people’s interests into account or even by actively thwarting the interests of others…would not be viewed as wise.”

This doesn’t mean that wise people are self-sacrificing.

It’s neither healthy nor productive to be incredibly altruistic or incredibly selfish.

Remember the onboard briefing that you get on a plane; people who fail to secure their oxygen masks before assisting others to end up running out of air.

Action Point: Reject the mindset that the world is a win or lose place. Seek to find ways to benefit others that also advance your objectives.

Do you challenge the status quo?

Instead of accepting things as they have always been, wise people are willing to question the rules.

In Practical Wisdom, psychologist Barry Schwartz and political scientist Kenneth Sharpe describe a Philadelphia man convicted of holding up a taxi driver with a gun.

The sentencing guidelines called for two to five years in jail, but the facts of the case didn’t fit: the man used a toy gun, it was his first offence, he had just lost his job, and he stole $50 to support his family.

A wise judge gave him a shorter sentence and permission to hold a job outside of jail during the day so that he could take care of his family – and required him to repay the $50.

Action Point: Before committing to a decision ask, is there a better way?

Is your focus on judging or understanding?

This goes hand in hand with seeing the world in black and white or right and wrong.

Many of us adopt the role of judge, jury and even executioner.

We are passing judgment on the actions of others so that we can sort them into categories of right and wrong or good and bad.

You may find the How To Be The Best Version Of Me helpful too.

Psychologist Ellen Langer says “Behavior makes sense from the actors’ perspective, or else they wouldn’t do it.”

Get Wise: Make Better Decisions in 15 Minutes

“A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether. – Roy H. Williams

Over time, this emphasis on understanding rather than evaluating yields an advantage in predicting others’ actions, enabling wise people to offer better advice to others and make better choices themselves.

Action Point: Operate like a detective whose goal is to explain other people’s behaviours.

Resist the impulse to pass judgement.

Putting it all together.

Wisdom requires critical self-reflection and a long-term view.

Wise people recognise that just as today’s cloud can have a silver lining tomorrow, tomorrow’s silver lining can become next week’s torment.

However, there was a definite psychological benefit of wisdom: a stronger sense of purpose in life.

This may involve putting what makes us happy on the back burner in our quest for meaning and significance

  • 8 December, 2017
  • Professional Development
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Find Inspiration With Four Simple Thoughts

This post is about inspiration and is about you. Just as you are right now.

It won’t suggest you become someone different, or tell you that you have to gain anything of material significance.

It won’t because your most valuable gifts are already within you.

And once they are uncovered everything in your life will flow more smoothly. When you change your inner world, the outer world will change around you.

There is no need for me to tell anyone that the road of life is never easy. All too frequently we encounter detours, speed bumps, and U-turns.

Instead of being negatives, I like to think of these challenges as necessary to appreciate the full scope that life has to offer. Without experiencing the lows would we truly appreciate the highs?

Find Inspiration With Four Simple Thoughts

“Once I decide to do something, I can’t have people telling me I can’t. If there’s a roadblock, you jump over it, walk around it, crawl under it.” – Kitty Kelley

Sometimes it is too easy to only focus on the challenges. They occupy our attention and become all we can see.

Related Post: How To Become The Best Version Of You in 2018

In the past, I would lose sight of goals because I could not see past the obstacles in the way. I then began to fixate on the obstacle instead of the goal.

I was quickly and continually derailed from achieving my goals.

Goal setting and the subsequent derailment became sources of frustration for me. I had to find a way of breaking the cycle.

I had to find sources of strength, inspiration, and perseverance to keep my focus on the outcomes I wanted.

In this post, I offer four simple thoughts that will help you find the treasures that are within you to uncover your greatness.

Inspiration: Your greatest love affair should be you

There is one person who stays with you your entire life. One person who needs your love more than anyone else. One that, if you love, they will always return your love. Click To Tweet

That person is you

Your greatest love affair should be with yourself. And you need to view your relationship with yourself as your most important relationship.

How often do you see people giving their love freely to others, but they don’t provide themselves with respect let alone love.

Many of us are happy to speak up and defend people we care about but let that critical inner voice in our head continue unchecked.

Find Inspiration With Four Simple Thoughts

“Our first and last love is self-love.” – Christian Nestell Bovee

Will you indulge me and allow me to tell you a story? I am working with a wonderfully giving single mother.

She does everything she can to support her children, emotionally, financially and psychologically. All the things that you would say a good parent should do.

But if you listen carefully to what she says you will note that her conversation is plastered with self-deprecating comments. She is continually putting herself down.

The critical inner voice

After seven minutes of chatting, I paused the conversation. I read out the first 15 negative and scathing comments that she made about herself that I had listed. After fifteen, I stopped writing them down.

“Would you tell anyone those comments over the course of an entire day?” I asked.

“Never. I couldn’t be that cruel.”

Yet she was that cruel to herself. And not over twenty-four hours but seven minutes.

Before we started working together, she had no idea that she could control her inner voice. And her inner voice is toxically damaging.

 

We are working together to build her relationship with herself. If want to improve your relationship with yourself Self-Esteem Develop More Of It is a good starting point.

Is it time that you built your relationship with yourself? To train that inner voice to compliment you and to show appreciation to yourself?

You make it easier for others to love you when you love yourself. It is never too late to start to love yourself.

Inspiration: If you are in a hole stop digging

We can all fall into a rut. The key is when you find yourself at a low point, not to dig the rut even deeper by beating yourself up. Many people fall into a hole and then dig it deeper without even realising it.

Sometimes, giving up is perhaps the most natural thing you can do. Whatever we repeat often enough becomes a habit. If you give up then giving up becomes a habit.

Find Inspiration With Four Simple Thoughts

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” – Michael Jordan

The problem is giving up becomes our default solution. Our automatic response to pretty much everything.

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Do you want to have giving up as your default option?

To get out of that rut, we must first accept our current position. Yes, we are in a hole.

When we recognise the behaviours and decisions that lead to us falling in, we will be capable of avoiding similar pitfalls in the future.

Inspiration: Show up even when you don’t feel like it

Some days, life gets the best of us. There is no helping it. These occasions will continue to test our resolve.

I remember the Woody Allen quote, “Showing up is 80% of life. Sometimes it’s easier to hide at home in bed. I’ve done both.”

Imagine it is Monday morning at 6:00am, and you are on your way to work. Nobody told you that you needed to be there that early.

If we were being honest, we would all prefer to be in bed right now. It’s a cold morning and just staying curled up under a warm duvet actually sounds really nice right now.

But you don’t want to let yourself do that.

Why? Because you have got to show up.

Find Inspiration With Four Simple Thoughts

All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” – Walt Disney

Several years ago, a friend used the analogy of life being like a photo album. Your task is at the end of each day, to put a photograph summarising that day into your album.

What would each picture look like? Would yesterday be any different than today? Or would tomorrow be different from any day next week?

Most of us settle into routines and ruts in life that allow us to take the path of least resistance. It’s easier that way.

It is easier to stay in bed, to not to do the work. It’s easier just to hope and wish it all works out.

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But doing so will only reproduce the same picture of what your life has already given you.

Let’s be honest… most things worth doing in life are never easy. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

The act of showing up is 80% of life. If you can master showing up even when you don't feel like it then you have cracked one of life's big challenges. Click To Tweet

Inspiration: A stumble does not have to be the end of the journey

How hard we fall is not important, the critical part is continually picking ourselves up. The challenges and obstacles we face in life are momentary occurrences in an enduring adventure.

It made me think about people I’ve known who have stumbled and stayed there. Not to mention the times I’ve stumbled and wanted to stay there…

Find Inspiration With Four Simple Thoughts

“For every failure, there’s an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.” – Mary Kay Ash

The road of life can be long and challenging. And the path may twist and turn. There will be potholes and obstacles in the way. Some days it may seem more comfortable to sit down and make camp where you stumbled. Don’t do it! Don’t!

Keep your goal in focus and keep moving forward until you get there!

We will slip, trip and stumble. And making mistakes is an essential part of learning how best to handle recurring situations. With experience, we learn to recognise these potholes in advance and deal with them before they cause us to stumble.

How will you use these four simple thoughts to find inspiration that will help you push through and not give up. Developing perseverance is an integral part of living an outstanding life, click HERE to find out more.

  • 1 December, 2017
  • Personal Development, Professional Development
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